The Exodus: Session 27

It's MY Sword!

We crest a ridge to see the ruins of an ancient city
Myan-inspired architecture, adrift in sand and salt
Khut rides at the head, leaading the caravan
Squee is playing with her gibbering mouther with a ball of yarn…
Vadim, and company, continue wrangling bees…
Rust tries, ineffectively, to get Ithunn to show him her tusks…
Elondyr tries to study…but gets distracted by the voices…
A dark-robed procession, dressed in the style of the sand-devils…
Mounted on giant slithers pass ahead of us…
Moving sedately…
Khut raises a hand to halt the caravan…
Khut, Vadim, and Arondyr sneak down to check them out…
30 in the process, 7 black-robed figures, 23 white…
Disparate, many different things, bound by culture…
Reminiscent of snake-like assassins from so long ago…
Common scaly theme…
Clearly a symbol-rich people…
Flowing snake-like script written on weapons…
Cursed blades bearing runes of…
eye-severing,
leg-cutting,
carapace breaking
Elondyr, Rust, Ado, and Squee go down to meet them…
Rust recalls an ancient civilization…
And fire and a tentacled destroyer…
Sorqutani crests the hill with the standard…
Team stealth is in, among them, ready…
AND Arondyr starts mooching weapons…
“Who’s sword did you steal?”
“It’s MY sword…”
She takes a snake-runed scimitar…
Vadim heads in among the female slithers…
AND steals some eggs…
goes shoulder-deep in a vent…
and has a single fertilized slither egg…
Elondyr orders Hundreds to rally the troops…
‘just in case’…
Squee and company ride up and make contact…
They step forward in equal number to our parley party…
A snake dude uncurls to his full 11-ft. height…
And very deliberately and elaborately veils his eyes…
The others follow suit wait stand silently…
Squee mimics them, donning a pink veil…
The head-snake lowers his head to greet her…
Squee proceeds to tell him her life story…
They ask her to convey their respects to her queen…
“We have not seen a messenger from her in some time”
“What brings an agent of destruction to our desert”
Ado asks for his name…which is a tongue roll…
Ithunn asks after Yaghuth…
They claim to have seen such traveling to the west…
Called, readied, armed for battle…
Ithunn seems concerned about them being armed…
Apparently they have a problem with an infestation…
The sands are infected…by old allies that are no longer…
“We are broken, but they are faded”…
They destroyed the city an age ago…
Nothing can be built there…
Tremors in the sand dry crawling…
They are there to watch the city…
Make sure it does not approach their enclaves…
Rust starts telepathicaly broadcasting images of our recent history…
Ithunn takes meditative pose and shares…
the destruction of the Remembrance of Yaghuth…
Rusts contact with his mind narrowly avoids madness…
“If you can possibly call a Void Sept warlock sane”
It feels “the patience one feels after one has bitten”
Apparently they are telling the truth…mostly…
Cities swallowed from below…no foundations possible…
Towers wrapped in tentacles and pulled beneath the surface…
Insects swarming from beneath the sands…
Cathedrals humming, buzzing with infestation…
Nothing built on the sands stands…
Civilizations lost and sunken beneath the salt sands…
Clearly NOT trying to think about enormous enclaves…
Somewhere warm, where reptiles can move faster…
Cities, sentinels, armies, herds, slaughterhouses…
But none on the sands…never again on the sands…
Recently there were large number of Yaghuth going west…
Ado promises that we WILL pass through the city…
And clear it…and asks if they would be willing to aid us…
They agree that they will “help” in an inspecific way…
They are charmers, slavers, take over your mind…
Hence the veiling of the eyes…
Ado asks the names of what spirits they know…
They seem confused…
Their spirits are silent, and patient, and old…
Squee: “Perhaps they should make younger ones”
Squee mixes some pigments to make nail-polish and sets to work…
And Squee begins painting the nails of a snake abomination…
In the middle of a salt desert…
It waits…and watches…and has no reaction…
Ithunn and Rust make mental contact…
He is hollow, empty…truly an acolyte of the Void Sept…
The Yaghuth rage sits just on the other side of the Void…
The emptiness serves to keep the rage at bay…
Helps him to “remembering”…
She recognizes HER Yaghuth in the images of the travelers.
The snakes meeting the Yaghuth on the road…
The Yaghuth drive forward, passively…
Droning a song…a Yaghuth warsong…
They remain Yaghuth…
The sound of Yaghuth marching to WAR…
Clearly not the only caravan…
All moving the same direction…
With the same purpose…
WE rally the army and head for the city…
Vadim fills his yurt with saltpeter and explosives…
Pulled by scrub warbeasts…
Khut and team-stealth go up the side of an old, leaning tower…
Everything made of strange black granite…
The city seems uninhabited…
THEN the ground bursts…and a death worm comes up…
Smashing the tip of the tower and sending us flying…
Khut fires an arrow down its gullet…then goes down himself…
Hangs on a tooth…and whistles for Littlewing…
Ithunn goes nuts! It ate Khut!
Ithunn leaps off the tower and dives strait at it…
AND goes strait down the hatch…
AND starts giving it major indigestion…
Littlewing dives and tears its lungs out…
Causing it to projectile vomit Khut and Ithunn…
They go flying, Khut lands, with Ithunn on top of him…
Coughs up blood…and wakes up…
Elondyr blasts the thing with lightning…which it eats…
Electricity crackles around its teeth…
AND it breaths back…
sending lightning arcing back at the party…
Sorqutani launches a flaming sphere down its throat…
Iron-dear dives in with her shiny new scimitar of carapace cracking…
And it just cannot get through…
Ado leaps and glides right into Khut…
giving him an extra dose of heroism..
Barruk charges in on Sparky…
hits the worm with a thunderous golf-swing…
heaving the worm up out of the hole…and again…
Rust sends forth an imperative to “Remember your Rage”
AND a hasted and blessed Khadagan leaps on the writhing worm…
starting at the top and clawing all the way to the bottom…
A swarm of Ankheg burst from the ground…
AND get torn limp from limb by the party…
Meanwhile, our army is having a bad, bad day…
The cavalry run into a swarm of borers…
The Malik champions respond by dropping explosives down the holes…
Then they hit a big hole and disappear…
The Nohai scouts step in to clean up the mess…
Because borers are delicious…
A swarm of ankhegs then attack the cavalry down below…
Sorq, Squee, and Vadim dive in after them…
Beating back a small horde of Ankhegs…
Ado manages to fight them to a stand-still then the Hive Queen comes out…
We’re in a massive underground cavern, our infantry forcing them back…
Khut lets fly an arrow, punching through her shield wings…
Barruk rushes in and beats her silly with his flaming hammer…
The Hive Queen rushes Khadagan, clawing and stinging like crazy…
He retaliates with great fury…
his rusted claws leaving massive smears as they tear in…
Ithunn comes through the ceiling riding the corpse of a beetle
and punches the queen in the teeth…
AND an arrow from Khut takes her between the eyes…
The rest of the bugs keep coming…
Ankhegs swarm in again and murder the snake-folk…
Then tear through both the infantry and cavalry…
Forcing the cavalry to withdraw from the field..
Then the Ankhegs are sucked into the spire and destroyed
The warblers rain death on the hive mystics…
Rust turns himself into a small thunderbird…
unleashing lightning against the flyers…
Khut whistles for Littlewing to join him…
Between two thunderbirds, the flying swarm is wiped out…
Vadim conjures hallucinatory terrain, drawing the borers into a trap…
Where the archers can rein death down…
Then Clouds of Fog and Walls of Fire divide the field…
And Hoargrim marches in side-by-side with Khadagan…
and finishes the borers off…
Squee leaps into the center of the warblers, healing them…
And Hoargrim stands his ground against the last Ankheg swarm…
And the last Ankheg is torn in two by Khadagan…
AND we start carving the giant pile of dead bugs up for meat!

And the author said, “This is good, this thing I have done.” And he went for lunch and a drink. And it was good!

- From the ramblings of Khut

Beyond the Shore: Session 10

Ye Angells bright, pluck from your Wings a Quill. 

     Make me a pen thereof that best will write. 

Lend me your fancy, and Angellick skill 

     To treate this Theme, more rich than Rubies bright. 

     My muddy Inke, and Cloudy fancy dark, 

     Will dull its glory, lacking highest Art.

An Eye at Centre righter may describe 

     The Worlds Circumferentiall glory vast 

As in its nutshell bed it snugs fast tide, 

     Than any angells pen can glory Cast 

     Upon this Drink Drawn from the Rock, tapt by 

     The Rod of God, in Horeb, typickly.

Sea water straind through Mineralls, Rocks, and Sands 

     Well Clarifi'de by Sunbeams, Dulcifi'de, 

Insipid, Sordid, Swill, Dishwater stands. 

     But here's a Rock of Aqua-Vitae tride. 

     When once God broacht it, out a River came 

     To bath and bibble in, for Israels train.

Some Rocks have sweat. Some Pillars bled out tears. 

     But here's a River in a Rock up tun'd 

Not of Sea Water nor of Swill. Its beere. 

     No Nectar like it. Yet it once Unbund 

     A River down out runs through ages all. 

     A Fountain opte, to wash off Sin and Fall.

-- Edward Taylor

______________________________________________________

A massive capstan turned and the Red Sadness slid up the long wooden ramp, rising out of the water.

As the ship was hauled up into the dry-dock at Rickety's Squibs, the party hastily shoved all of their most precious loot into the large, magical sack that they had taken from Captain Nikolaos. "Oi! Fuck you!" a voice called from below, "Get the fuck off the deck so we can work!" They looked over the rail to see Rickety Hake's, foreman, an attractive Frenchman with a pipe clenched in his teeth and a hook in place of his right hand, yelling at them. Around him stood a swarm of workers, nearly thrice the number of their crew, waiting alongside heavy mooring ropes and pieces of scaffolding.

As the ship settled into place, a ladder was set up against the hull and they all climbed down. The shipwrights immediately set to work stabilizing the ship and erecting the scaffolding to allow them easy access to all points of the hull. One seemed to be working just a tad slower than the others and was immediately reprimanded by the foreman with a string of profanity accompanied by the sudden appearance of glowing chains bursting from the ground topped by the screaming face of a beautiful woman.

Leopold asked whether there were any taverns. "Of course you stupid shit-fuck!" the foreman replied, "just make sure you go to the good one and not the shit-hole one!" They asked for directions to the "good one", which brought a fair amount of snickering from the workers, and it soon became clear that there was, in fact, only one tavern in the small settlement around Rickety's Squibs, and it was, in fact, a shit-hole.

Shit hole or no, they made their way to the tavern -- a once-grand villa that had been carved out to serve as the commons and chow-hall for the entire settlement. Caddis and Thaduk burst into the tap room and immediately began extolling their recent mighty deeds, only to find that the tavern was basically empty aside from their own crew, who were already busy drinking, their three prisoners, tucked into a corner under Henrye's watchful eye, and Rickety Hake, who was at the bar talking to the weather-worn wench who ran the place. Caddis checked in with his sister Jessica, who was sharing a drink with Caulky, the other cabin-girl, and in surprisingly good (if ever-silent) spirits.

A quick conversation with Hake and some application of characteristic charm, and Caddis had secured the use of the squib's two dock-side warehouses: one to hang the crew's hammocks in, and the other for storing their load of booty. Caddis tried to get Riaris to manage a watch on the warehouse full of loot, then, failing that, delegated Henrye to organize a rotation of the crew members to stand guard. They all then trekked back to the dry-dock to unload the ship.

In the less than two hours since they had disembarked, the two foremen and their work crews had already pried off most of the running boards on one side of the Red Sadness, leaving a giant hole from stem to stern. Seeing them approach, the salty Frenchman called a halt (accompanied by considerable profanity) as the Sadness's crew piled in through the hole to begin unloading the cargo and hauling it to the warehouse. As they worked, the Frenchman made some disparaging comments about them being "like little girls", only to be on the receiving end of a stuck-out tongue from Caulky, who was helping Jessica haul one of the crates.

After another hour or so, everything was unloaded. Henrye posted rotations of six people on watch at all times, with additional orders from Caddis to make sure that no more than two of the Dutchmen from the Ginger Belle were on watch at any one time, due to their inexperience in combat. "But Captain," he insisted, "the rest are all PIRATES!"

"So are you now..."

Leopold and Rummy, meanwhile, used the bag of holding secretly smuggle Fishguts into the warehouse as an added security measure. Caddis then fed a drop of his blood to two of the Jellied Monkeys that they'd found in Peppery Longfarthing's lab, animating them and setting them to also watch over the warehouse. As a last measure, Henrye put the best locks they had scavenged from the Red Sadness (at least the best which they still had keys for) on the doors. At last, Thaduk handed his bugle over to Henrye, who snapped to attention, saluted, and began pacing in front of the doors (to many rolled eyes from the other crewmen).

By the time everything was as secure as they could make it, and the hammocks from the ship were hung up in the adjacent warehouse for the crew, dusk was falling, The party headed back to the commons, which was by now bustling and crowded, with nearly everyone in the small settlement settling in, the squib-crews having ended their shifts.

On entering, Leopold decided to try to get into the pants of Sal, the bar-wench. He walked up and ordered "your finest bottle" and three glasses. Sal, apparently having a sense of humor, or else of literality, handed him a beautiful, but empty, green bottle, for which he turned over £20 (a king's ransom) without blinking, and then set three empty glasses on the table. When that went no where, he ordered "whisky", which they didn't have, then ordered a "round of your finest beer" for the house. This was met by cheers, until it was revealed that she only had the one drink on tap, the same piss-water (which probably had a lower alcohol content than Thaduk's actual piss) she'd be serving since they got there.

Finally giving up on the old broad, he turned and began playing a tune to entertain the crowd. As the song ended, Caddis and Thaduk took the opportunity to once again attempt to extol their infamous, piratical deeds to try and boost their reputation as proper-buccaneers. Just as they were getting started, a narrow-faced man dressed in the unusual all-black habit of a Puritan burst in and began declaiming at the top of his lungs.

"Their foot shall SLIDE in due TIME! That they were always exPOSed to desTRUCtion; as one that stands or walks in slippery PLACES is always exposed to FALL! This is IMPLIED in the manner of their desTRUCtion coming upON them, being represented by their FOOT SLIDING! The same is exPRESSed, 'Surely thou didst set them in slippery PLACES; thou castedst them down into desTRUCtion...'"

There was a groan from the locals, barely audible under the man's sermonizing...

"It imPLIES, that they were always exposed to SUDDEN unexPECTed desTRUCtion. As he that walks in SLIPPERY PLACES is every moment LIABLE to FALL, he cannot foreSEE one moment whether he..."

Caddis fixed the man with his evil eye and attempted to put him to sleep. Which failed...

"Another thing imPLIED is, that they are liable to FALL of themSELVES, without being thrown DOWN by the hand of another; as he that stands or walks on slippery GROUND needs nothing but his own weight to throw him DOWN..."

Caddis tried to command the man to be silent. Which also failed...

"There is no want of POWER in DORmin to cast wicked men into HELL at any MOment. Men's hands cannot be strong when dorMIN rises UP. The STRONGest have no POWER to resist him, nor can ANY deliver out of his HANDS. Even Emporer Prospero in all his glory cannot STAND against him. He is not only able to..."

Rummy finally stepped up and took the man by the elbow, "Yes, yes, destruction, fascinating. Perhaps we can step outside and you can tell me more..." Surprised to find anyone actually willing to listen to him, the heretical preacher allowed himself to be lead back out the door. Before the door had even closed behind them, Rummy cold-cocked the preacher with a quick right hook to the jaw, eliciting a cheer from the crowd gathered inside.

Caddis followed him out, and, once the door was properly shut, they stripped the old man of the armor he was wearing under his robes, as well as a brace of pistols, a substantial amount of ammunition, a bag of coins, his book of sermons, and other sundries. Caddis sowed the thought in his mind that he had fallen and been knocked out while working on the ship. They then bandaged up his head and deposited his body on the docks.

They walked back in and, distraction averted, Caddis was finally able to wow the crowds with his story of their stealing the ship and their defeat of Captain Nik. Rummy, meanwhile, walked up to the bar and asked who the man he just punched out was.

"Oi! He's my fuckin' co-worker. He's the foreman for the other shift working on your fuckin' boat!" the Frenchman replied. The Frenchman finally introduced himself as Guillaume De La Fontaine and explained that no one in the small settlement really cared a rat's ass about the other foreman. They got little other useful information out of the locals, as most of the conversations in the taproom were focused either on the battle that morning, or else on the oppressive heat and drought that had afflicted New Caledonia for the last month.

____________________________________________________________

The next morning, Leopold awoke naked and sticky, with a dead fish on his chest. It could only be assumed that Tilly had found her way into his hammock at some point in the night. Not bothering to get dressed, he walked out of the warehouse onto the adjacent docks and jumped off the end into the harbor to bathe.

Leopold was not the only one up early for a swim swimming. After about 5 minutes of splashing in the water, he felt something brush against him, them was suddenly tugged down beneath the water as it wrapped around his legs. By this time, Rummy had woken up and stepped outside in time to see Leopold briefly breach the surface, his legs and chest wrapped in something thick, scaly, and glistening blue-green. He shouted the alarm and the rest of the party, along with the Frenchy, who was on his way to the dry-dock to oversee the morning shift, came running.

Perching on the end of the dock, they looked into the clear water to see a massive blue-scaled snake, as big around as a man's thigh, wrapped around Leopold. The snake's head was that of a beautiful woman, save for its lower jaw which had distended enough to begin swallowing Leopold's feet. Leopold continued to struggle, and when he again breached the surface briefly, Caddis used his evil eye to get its attention.

"Could you please let our friend go," Adriana asked very politely.

"I would," the naga said, releasing her bite, "but I am very hungry you see..."

"I'm sure we could find you something more delicious to eat than that man."

"That would be excellent, just leave it on the end of the dock and I will release him..."

Thaduk, apparently feeling less diplomatic, dived into the water and grabbed hold of the naga, attempting to tear it in two with his bare hands. The snake-creature released Leopold and snapped its head around to bite Thaduk, scoring a vicious hit with its venemous fangs.

Hoping to immobilize the creature, Guillaume sent forth a barrage of glowing eldritch chains towards the naga, which exploded into a massive spider-web on contact, anchored to the docks and the sandy shallows. The naga and Leopold wriggled free of the webbing, but Thaduk found himself bound, just under the water, unable to get his head up.

Caddis dived in and tried to freeze the naga using the snowflake ring they had taken from Captain Nik, but could not get a strike in on the wily serpent. Adriana, meanwhile, grabbed a fishing net and tossed it over Thaduk, then, pulling with all her might, snapped him free of the webbing and dragged him back to the docks.

Guillaume continued to lash the naga with his eldritch chains and Caddis continued swiping ineffectively at the snake as Leopold swam for the docks. Leo quickly healed Thaduk, bringing him back to consciousness. Rummy reached down and started helping Leo climb out, but the naga struck quickly, sinking her fangs into the back of his exposed thigh.

Guillaume began taunting the creature, trying to draw it up onto the docks fully. Adriana slashed down with her greatsword, cutting off the tip of the naga's tail. Thaduk, enraged, rapidly downed a couple of healing potions, then grabbed the spear off of his back and stabbed the naga hard and knocking it back into the water. Finally, Caddis tagged the snake with a strike from his magical ring, instantly freezing the water around it, encasing it helplessly in a block of solid ice.

The beast defeated, Leopold headed into the warehouse to get dressed. Guillaume offered to turn the frozen water naga into sushi, but had to run to oversee his shift. The party agreed to cut up the body and bring it by the taproom later. Rummy, though, had other plans.

Once Leo returned, Rummy reminded him that in order to keep Fishguts around, they needed to sacrifice a living sentient creature to him once every twelve days, and the naga, while monstrous, was definitely sentient, and technically still alive inside the block of ice. Caddis warned Adriana and Thaduk, that what they were about to see in the other warehouse was disturbing. Then packed up the frozen naga and hauled it up the docks.

At the second warehouse, Henrye was still standing watch, half-asleep leaning against the door. Caddis told him he was relieved, took the keys, and sent him to warehouse #1 to get some sleep, dismissing the other guards as well. Inside, they were greeted by the giant, piss-coloured, urine-smelling mass of entrails that was all that remained of their friend Fishguts.

Rummy consulted his demonic sex-manual and strung up the frozen naga as indicated. Hanging it upside down, he pulled out the largest of his blades and prepared to cut the snake-creature in two.

The ice was hard, slick with water from where it was already melting in the heat, and required considerable force to puncture. Stabbing hard, he shoved the knife in up by the tail. The force of the blow sent cracks running throughout the magical ice, and, as he pulled down to start cutting through, the entirety--ice block and naga alike--shattered into hundreds of bloody red chunks of ice and meat. Rummy groaned, realizing that he had failed the strict requirements of the ritual.

Disheartened, the party gathered up the pieces of the snake in their arms and hauled them to the dry-dock for Guillaume to prepare. In the tropical heat, the small, frozen pieces melted quickly, leaving the five friends soaked with water and snake-blood by the time they reached the boathouse.

Guillaume, unsurprisingly, heaped curses on them for ruining the meat.

Beyond the Shore: Session 9

A holiday interlude...

The sheets were frozen hard, and they cut the naked hand;

The decks were like a slide, where a seaman scarce could stand;

The wind was a nor'wester, blowing squally off the sea;

And cliffs and spouting breakers were the only things a-lee.

They heard the surf a-roaring before the break of day;

But 'twas only with the peep of light we saw how ill we lay.

We tumbled every hand on deck instanter, with a shout,

And we gave her the maintops'l, and stood by to go about.

All day we tacked and tacked between the South Head and the North;

All day we hauled the frozen sheets, and got no further forth;

All day as cold as charity, in bitter pain and dread,

For very life and nature we tacked from head to head.

We gave the South a wider berth, for there the tide race roared;

But every tack we made we brought the North Head close aboard:

So's we saw the cliffs and houses, and the breakers running high,

And the coastguard in his garden, with his glass against his eye.

The frost was on the village roofs as white as ocean foam;

The good red fires were burning bright in every 'long-shore home;

The windows sparkled clear, and the chimneys volleyed out;

And I vow we sniffed the victuals as the vessel went about.

The bells upon the church were rung with a mighty jovial cheer;

For it's just that I should tell you how (of all days in the year)

This day of our adversity was blessèd Christmas morn,

And the house above the coastguard's was the house where I was born.

O well I saw the pleasant room, the pleasant faces there,

My mother's silver spectacles, my father's silver hair;

And well I saw the firelight, like a flight of homely elves,

Go dancing round the china plates that stand upon the shelves.

And well I knew the talk they had, the talk that was of me,

Of the shadow on the household and the son that went to sea;

And O the wicked fool I seemed, in every kind of way,

To be here and hauling frozen ropes on blessèd Christmas Day.

They lit the high sea-light, and the dark began to fall.

'All hands to loose top gallant sails,' I heard the captain call.

'By the Lord, she'll never stand it,' our first mate, Jackson, cried.

'It's the one way or the other, Mr. Jackson,' he replied.

She staggered to her bearings, but the sails were new and good,

And the ship smelt up to windward just as though she understood.

As the winter's day was ending, in the entry of the night,

We cleared the weary headland, and passed below the light.

And they heaved a mighty breath, every soul on board but me,

As they saw her nose again pointing handsome out to sea;

But all that I could think of, in the darkness and the cold,

Was just that I was leaving home and my folks were growing old.

-- Robert Lewis Stevenson, Christmas at Sea

_______________________________________________________

The crew of the Red Sadness, bolstered in numbers by their recent successes, sailed on towards Rickety's Squibbs. Behind them, towed by mooring cables, drifted the Ginger Belle, manned by a Adriana, Thaduk, and a small handful of its original sailors, working to keep the sails trimmed to match the pace and heading of the Sadness.

As they sailed, Sandara and Henrye approached Captain Caddis. "Given the recent changes in the makeup of the crew and the need for martial readiness," they explained, "the crew would like to formally request that the Captain open up the ship's armory and the lockers of those "no longer with us" to make sure the present crew are properly armed and trained in case another opportunity for plunder presents itself."

"Pretty girl make gooood point," Thaduk said, "Let's bring loot to top deck for all to see. Every man who swear to Besmara to fight for plunder and brothers here on the Red Sadness get weapon."

Caddis agreed, "Also, with regards to the plunder from the captain's hold and the Ginger Belle, and any ship we take after this, every crewman, officers included, shall receive an equal share. Also, we shall always grant quarter and offer terms of surrender to any enemy we face, and all prisoners shall be treated well..."

The crew seemed greatly heartened by these shows of benevolence, and the "veterans" of the Red Sadness quickly ransacked the ship, emptying the armory, the quartermaster's stores, and the lockers of the missing crew men and hauling loads of magic items, weapons, armor, coins, booze, books, and other more mundane items up onto the deck.

"Officers get first choice," Riaris Krine, who had recently been untied and awakened insisted. Then all of the crew set about arming themselves. Caddis had all of the books and "other valuables" moved to the captain's quarters, booze moved to galley, and all general use tools and alchemical items placed in the quarter master's store.

Rounding a tall headland at the northern tip of New Caledonia revealed a hidden cove at the mouth of a wide river, its sluggish brown waters staining the waters of the blue sea like an ugly bruise. A series of docks had been built upon this estuary, with buildings concealed beneath the overhanging limbs of the dried and brown jungle beyond. A wooden watchtower stood upon the promontory of the headland, carefully concealed among the trees to provide a clandestine view of the seas.

A thick early-morning fog rolled off the river, further shrouding the small community. Caddis, standing the Sadness' prow, noticed signal flags flashing between the watchtower and the docks. Then he heard something strange, above the sound of the waves slapping against the Sadness's hull, and the echo-effect of the waves striking the Belle, was the sound of waves crashing against a third ship, in line with their two. He looked around but saw nothing.

Looking up, they saw a small single-masted longboat being run out from the docks with perhaps a half-dozen men aboard, flying the blue flag of parley. The small boat signaled for them to drop anchor, but just as the Sadness began to do so, the men on the small boat began waving their flags in a panic and back-rowing. Looking around, they saw another ship, triple-masted and roughly the size of their own appearing out of thin air of their starboard side. The ship was flying a reindeer-headed Jolly-Rodger and had run out its cannons, a full six of them to a side, and was coming into position for a full broadside.

Leopold told the crew to weigh anchor but stay on the capstan, swinging the ship around to put the Ginger Belle between them and the attacking ship. Rummy ordered the crew to man the catapult and pair of ballista they had found in the hold, while Riaris Krine and Thaduk the Sot swung the long nine into position. Meanwhile, Sandara Quinn shrouded their ship in fog and Caddis summoned a swarm of bilge spiders onto the deck of the enemy ship to distract them.

Their quick reactions worked. The Belle took the brunt of the broadside, crippling it, but allowing them to take out two of the cannons with their return fire. Leopold then ordered the crew to drop anchor, arresting their momentum and allowing the Sadness to swing in behind the enemy vessel. Caddis then set their rigging alight with a fireball cast from the staff of fire they had found in the officer's quarters.

The enemy captain, a white-bearded man in a red suit, spun the wheel and brought the flaming ship careening into the Sadness. The entire enemy crew--some fourty short white-bearded fellows in green and red striped outfits, eight massive caribou (or were they elk?), and the captain--swung over to the Sadness and engaged the crew directly.

On the poop deck, Caddis, Leopold, Rummy, Fishguts, and Riaris Krine found themselves toe-to-toe with the enemy captain and four of his reindeer companions. Leopold tagged the captain with a tanglefoot bag, gluing him in place next to the rail, and the other four rushed in to surround him. The reindeer charged, but Caddis was able to put one to sleep before they hit. One crashed into Leopold, another into Caddis, goring them badly. Rummy sidestepped the fourth, sending in plummeting over the rail. The crew, meanwhile, were busy shoving the burning enemy vessel away with boarding pikes and dealing with the swarm of diminutive, bearded pirates.

Despite the threat of the reindeer, everyone ganged up on the enemy captain, but their blows kept failing to penetrate the thick red suit he wore. Finally Fishguts struck him a ringing blow to the side of the head with his trusty frying pan. In retaliation, the captain gutted Fishguts with his hook hand, disemboweling the poor cook. Rummy and Riaris flanked the captain, swinging at him, mostly ineffectually, then dancing out of reach to avoid his deadly hook. Finally Rummy managed to land a solid stab into the captain's side, followed by a mighty blow from Riaris, her nodachi bursting into flames and setting the captain's suit alight. She took a swipe from the hook for her efforts, but Rummy finished him off with a thrust to his back.

Leopold, hurt from the reindeer attack, fled up into the rigging while Caddis put a second deer to sleep with his evil eye. The last remaining reindeer turned and charged Riaris Krine. Leopold leaped out of the rigging, landing on the reindeer's back and impaling it with Medo Avassaldor. The reindeer thrashed and bucked, but could not knock him off, and instead turned to lashing out at Riaris with its hooves and biting teeth.

Rummy and Riaris moved in and swiped at the reindeer, but, in their eagerness to avoid its hooves, their swings went wild and both struck Leopold, one after the other. The reindeer managed to sink its teeth into Rummy, dealing a grievous wound and causing the flesh around the bite to harden and take on a spiraling white and red pallor. Finally, Caddis nailed the reindeer with his last sleep spell, and Leopold finished it off. "Leave the others alive," Caddis insisted, "they'll keep longer for meat that way..."

Down on the main deck, the crew finally subdued the last of the elves, though not without cost. Sixteen of the Red Sadness's crew lay dead: Fishguts, Crimson Cog, two of the orc slaves from the Ginger Belle, and a dozen of the Belle's sailors they had taken on. Sandara, Caulky, and Rattline Rattsberger lay wounded and unconscious. To counter this, thirty-eight of the enemy sailors had been slain, and the last subdued and taken prisoner (while quarter had been offered, it had certainly not been taken).

The enemy ship was a mess, with the mast fallen in and all of the rigging burned away. They brought the Sadness alongside and the crew proceeded to raid the ship's stores, coming away with a massive pile of goods and treasures of all kinds, as well as ten functioning cannon and accompanying ammunition with which to better arm the Sadness (which made Riaris Krine very very happy). Caddis appointed Rummy as the official quartermaster and the orcish house-slaves, who were very good at book-keeping, as his assistants, and ordered them to make a thorough accounting of everything taken.

Leopold helped Sandara back to her feet and she set about performing funeral rites (and finishing off) the deceased crewmen of both ships, before tossing them into the sea. Rummy stopped her from taking Fishgut's body, claiming that he wanted to perform the rites himself.

As they looted the enemy ship, the longboat from the docks came back, now flying a white flag of surrender alongside the request for parley. A wizened old man came aboard, wide-eyed and terrified looking, and introduced himself as Rickety Hake.

Caddis quickly offered him both the Ginger Belle and the enemy ship, "The Reindeer", in exchange for his services squibbing and rechristening the Sadness (and his discretion should Captain Herrera come asking about them). Rickety agreed, and also agreed to provide some upgrades to the Sadness while he was working on it: extending the keel, adding additional space for more crew quarters and cargo, giving it a broader rudder for better handling, improved sails and rigging for increased speed, gun ports (4 per side and 2 aft) in the middle hold for the new cannons, smuggling compartments built into the bulkheads, and an extended bowsprit and figurehead (carved to your specifications) that would be reinforced to serve as a ram.

Rickety told them it would take him at least a week to retrofit the Sadness. The three ships were towed into drydock, with work scheduled to begin the next morning, and the crew were given shares of the loot and leave to explore the small settlement while they waited. Even the Cameron sisters were released from the bilges and allowed to go ashore (under guard) so that they could send messages and negotiate their ransom.

Late that night, Caddis, Leopold, and Rummy crept back aboard the Sadness. Unwilling to let their friend go, Rummy, after consulting a book titled “Demonologia Sexualis” which had been found in Peppery Longfarthing's laboratory, gathered up Fishgut's disemboweled body. Down in the bottom hold, they hung the corpse upside down, scalped it, and anointed it with gentian and tormentil. Rummy then, while chanting words that should never be heard by the ears of mortal men, cut the body in two, from groin to scalp…

Out of the cleft spilled a transparent cube-shaped mass. The thing was cold to the touch, with Ambrose’s internal organs and purple lotus flowers clearly visible floating within it, and smelled strongly of urine. It was henceforth dubbed, “Fishguts”, in honor of their departed friend.

…it is currently living in the bilges of the Red Sadness, waiting to devour anything or anyone thrown down to it.