Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Beyond the Shore: Session 2

He rose at dawn and, fired with hope,
Shot o’er the seething harbour-bar,
And reach’d the ship and caught the rope,
And whistled to the morning star.

And while he whistled long and loud
He heard a fierce mermaiden cry,
“O boy, tho' thou are young and proud,
I see the place where thou wilt lie.

“The sands and yeasty surges mix
In caves about the dreary bay,
And on thy ribs the limpet sticks,
And in thy heart the scrawl shall play.”

“Fool,” he answer’d , “death is sure
To those that stay and those that roam,
But I will nevermore endure
To sit with empty hands at home.

“My mother clings about my neck,
My sisters crying, ‘Stay for shame;’
My father raves of death and wreck,-
They are all to blame, they are all to blame.

“Gods help me! save I take my part
Of danger on the roaring sea,
A devil rises in my heart,
Far worse than any death to me.”

-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

_________________________________________________________________

Just after the narrow escape from the angry Quartermaster, Caddis slipped out into the ship's middle hold and narrowly avoided being tripped by a shapely leg. The leg, in turn was attached to a half-elven wench, who stepped close and shoved him into a darkened alcove. The wench, who introduced herself as Sandara Quinn, shoved his Rose and Thaduk's Bugle into his hands, saying that she'd snagged them as they were being dragged aboard. Sandara also told him that she would set up someone else to take the blame for breaking into the quartermaster's stores, and all they needed to do was keep mum.

When Caddis called her on her unusual level of helpfulness, she explained that she was impressed by how Caddis and his friends had handled themselves during the attack on Moonplum. "On a ship," she said, "it's not what you know, but who you know that keeps you alive." Since Caddis and Thaduk were clearly disliked by First-mate Plugg, that meant that they were her friends by default, and potentially useful ones to boot. She also told him that any weapons the party had would have been put in the weapons locker (in the room where the ship's officer's slept) and not left with the quartermaster. Sandara then scurried up to the deck, reminding him that anyone caught shirking their work typically earned six lashes...

On deck, Thaduk was worn out from his day spent sprinting around the ship as the Bosun's message-boy. When the last message was delivered, he finally looked up enough to notice the sun setting...



From the aft-castle, the bell began to ring, signalling sun-set and the "bloody hour". As everyone else went up on deck, Caddis returned to the kitchen to find FIshguts still passed out on the floor and a pair of girls waiting for him (wow there were a lot of women on this ship). One was a young girl, no more than twelve or thirteen by the look of her, but with the hard-eyes of someone who'd spent a long time at sea. The other was his sister, Jessica, the deaf mute, standing rigid, her face streaked with tears.

'Caulky' Tarroon
Caddis tried to talk to his sister but got a poke in the chest and a glare from the younger girl. The girl, who called herself 'Caulky', told Caddis that the captain expected his dinner to be served in 15 minutes. Caddis looked alarmedly at the unconscious, drunken cook, then noticed the big cauldron of soup boiling over on the ship's stove. He spooned out a bowl and asked if it was okay for the captain. Caulky dipped a finger, tasted it, and, after waiting for about a minute, pronounced it acceptable. Caddis quickly filled bowls for the rest of the ship's officers, which Caulky piled on a tray carried by his sister. The two girls left quickly for the far end of the hold and the stairs to the captain's chambers.

Caddis had just started to relax when a shrill whistle from up above signaled 'all hands'. As he reached the ladder up, he ran into two sailors dragging a third who was bound in fetters. Up on deck, Mr. Plugg announced that 'Jakes Magpie' had been witnessed breaking into the quartermaster's stores, found guilty of stealing from the captain, and was thereby sentenced to be keelhauled.

Caddis sidled over to where Thaduk and his uncle were standing. The three watched impassively as Jakes Magpie was tied hand and foot to a rope dangling over the taffrail of the ship, which was in turn attached to capstans at both fore and aft. Once he was set, the Bosun shoved the man overboard, sending him plunging into the water, the rope running out behind him. Once submerged, Mr. Plugg gleefully began to turn the fore-capstan, dragging the man along the underside of the keel. After a long minute, Jakes appeared near the bowsprit, bloody and gasping, only to be quickly jerked back under by the Bosun turning the opposite capstan.

Finally Jakes' body, shredded by barnacles and very, very dead, was dragged back aboard and cut loose from the keel-line. The crew ran to the rails and watched as his dead body was then thrown back over the rail to be torn apart by waiting sharks, attracted by the blood already spilt by the ordeal. Once the last traces of Jakes Magpie were gone, the Bosun's mates grabbed Adriana and a pair of other riggers from the crowd and tied them to the mast (though not without a struggle), where they were beaten for not appearing at their posts.

Then all eyes turned to Caddis. Everyone on the ship stared at him expectantly...

He felt a tap on the shoulder and Sandara whispered in his ear that they were all waiting for their dinner. Seeing the faces growing steadily grimmer, Caddis grabbed the Thaduks and raced downstairs. Smith grabbed the big cauldron of soup, Thaduk grabbed a barrel of rum, and Caddis rounded up all the bowls and mugs he could carry. They made it up top, set up, and served everyone in record time (despite Caddis forgetting a ladle), while Mr. Plugg tapped the keg and passed out everyone's mandatory rum rations (only on a pirate ship is failing to drink enough liquor a punishable  offense).

Luckily they worked fast, and the angry glares of the crew melted into good-natured ribbing at the expense of the new cook's mate (helped largely by the rum). While everyone was working their way through the soup-line, Thaduk made a point of picking out the swab he'd scared during his whipping that morning, one Fipps Chumlett by name, and growled at the man like some hungry beast. Thaduk knew immediately from the look in Fipp's eyes that the poor wretch would throw himself off the ship if Thaduk wished it so.

After everyone had eaten, Thaduk volunteered to take the bowls and cauldron back down to the kitchen. Finding the place otherwise empty, and Fishguts still passed out drunk on the floor, he helped himself to a knife, carefully stowing it away in the folds of his breeches with the bugle. Caddis came down then, and the two of them helped haul Fishguts to his bunk. Coming back up on deck, they found the night-life of the ship in full swing. The officers had withdrawn, the rum barrel was freely available, and one of the crew had broken out a fiddle.

Caddis, already rather buzzed after drinking with Fishguts, plus his required ration, filled a mug with water, another with rum, and made his way over to the nearest sailor, a middle-aged man with an enormous, very ugly nose. He tried to be smooth, mentioning something about feeling 'naked' and needing something to cover himself (presumably trying to souse out where to obtain a weapon), but his innuendo went un-noticed. When it was clear that the sailor thought he was talking about needing actual clothing (despite being fully dressed), Caddis backpedaled with some comment about liking fashion...

"Ooooh," the sailor replied, "sorry I don't go in for boys. You should maybe go talk to Maheem..."

Caddis, wisely, quickly excused himself from any further conversation.

Thaduk found where a number of the sailors were taking bets on arm-wrestling matches. A table had been set up on top of a big barrel. On either side of the table were piled broken glass, caltrops, and knives, with the wrestlers arms squared off between them. Thaduk watched for a while, as various challengers matched up with no clear champion standing out. Finally a wiry old woman, with her gray hair shaved into stripes, responding to cheers of 'Badger', won five consecutive matches. At which point Thaduk shoved the next challenger, poor Chumlett no less, out of the way and sat down.

The match was over before it started, as they say. As soon as the cry of 'begin' was given, the old woman's hand was slammed down onto the already bloody pile of sharp objects with such force that her hand was nearly severed. There were some muffled cheers, but much more grumbling and glaring, as not even a pirate could think that an old woman vs. the world's burliest orc constituted a fair match. 'Badger' was hauled off to the ship's surgeon (who is also the carpenter), likely to have her hand removed the rest of the way and fitted with a wooden prosthesis as was typical, and Thaduk asked if anyone else wanted to challenge him.

Caddis, meanwhile, made his way over to another sailor, this one a lad a bit younger than Caddis. Unlike the previous fellow, this one, plied with some extra rum, quickly caught on to Caddis' implied need for protection. "Oh aye," the boy, Jack, said, "don't worry friend...I've got your back if anyone decides to start something." Then, of course, the conversation was quickly cut off by Thaduk's defeat of 'Badger'. When old woman was hauled away, and it appeared that no challenger was forthcoming, Jack suddenly shouted "Bring up the Owlbear!"

The shout was quickly taken up by the rest of the crew, becoming a chant of "Owl! Bear! Owl! Bear! Owl! Bear!" accompanied by much stomping. Soon four crewmen came up on deck, dragging a heavy chain. At the end of that chain followed a tower of a man, nearly seven feet tall and rippling with muscles. He had been shaved hairless, tarred, and feathered. A metal ring was round his neck, to which the chain was attached, crabs swarmed over his hands and legs, and the stench of the bilges clung to his tattered, rotten breeches. The sailors dragged the Owlbear to the seat across from Thaduk and shoved him into the chair.

The Owlbear
Thaduk watched his opponent carefully as he came up the stairs. The Owlbear was clearly almost (but only almost) as muscular as Thaduk, but also clearly an imbecile, barely able to walk strait on his own, and blind in his left eye. This was quite the revelation, Thaduk was, for the first time in his life, not the dumbest creature in the room.

The two squared off and soon started straining. The Owlbear at least knew his business once his elbow was on the table. Muscles bulged and the table creaked. Thaduk gained a quick advantage, nearly flattening the Owlbear in the first seconds, but the Owlbear slowly wrenched Thaduk's hand back upright, and then began to bear him down. Thinking quickly, for Thaduk, Thaduk stomped the Owlbear's foot on his blindside, startling him enough for Thaduk to quickly slam the Owlbear's hand down onto the pile of glass still soaked with 'Badger's' blood.

A gasp went up from the pirates at the defeat of their champion and the Owlbear roared to his feet, blood splattering everywhere from his damaged arm. As he rose though, Caddis caught the Owlbear's gaze and...

...The Owlbear fainted, apparently from shock and bloodloss, but actually from Caddis' evil eye (and a sleep spell).

As Thaduk rose from the table and headed towards the hammocks that had been set aside for the new crew down below, everyone gave him extremely wide berth.


Monday, October 12, 2015

The Exodus: Session 16

The mongolian death worm is seriously dead...
    And the battle is on...
        Our cavalry crush their archers
        The enemy cataphracts charge, but are routed by burning cursed khort
            The Titan Mushrooms confuse the cataphracts...
                causing them to attack the enemy scouts
        A group of enemies break off and charge the Titans
            We jump in to intercept them...
           
The cataphracts are being PWNd by the nohai archer's cloth-yard arrows
    Myconid titan spores confuse everyone on the field...
        Then a single old-empire cataphract on a blood warbeast breaks through...
            AND gets blown off his beast by a point-blank shot from Khut...
                AND it becomes clear that he is not at all alive...
    Massive amounts of friendly fire occur...
            no one else actually aims for the bad guy it seems...
        Except Sorq who fireballs the bastard...
            Khut puts another arrow right through its sturnum...
            Khad jumps in and begins handing out the beatings...
                Followed by Ithunn who tears him a new one...
            AND then it retaliates and chops Ithunn and Khad up a bit...
                He launches Ithunn into the air, then teleports up and whacks her...
                    AND one of Ja'lin's flunkies tags him with a lightning bolt...
            Ado heat-metals his armor...melting it all over him...
                making him REALLY dead...

Meanwhile, Baijou's infantry attempt draw our archers out...
    Who are more than happy to rain arrows down and wipe them out to a man...
        Then follow up and wipe the floor with the cataphracts...
    Then Baijou's camp followers try to poison our archers...
        But poison the infantry instead...
            Then get driven mad by some spores...
    AND GENERAL SQUEE WINS THE DAY!
   
There is an announcement from the four Heralds...
    each carry a Sulde from the various Ordus...
        "All armies must withdraw from the sacred space...
            no weapons, no armor during the Khurutai (coronation)..."
   
A blood warbeast is missing...
    Vadim follows it into the dispersing armies...
        Vadim makes friends with the Warbeast...
    Ja'Lin's diviner points out the food wagons looking "off"...
        Khut sneaks in and notices that the wagons "klink"...
            apparently smuggling weapons...
        Ja'Lin's diviners notice that the drivers are from the far west...
                Subotai's district...
            Barruk punts the driver and steers the wagon out of the way...
    Ado wanders over and has some tea with Baijou...
        implying that "his brother does not take a loss well"...
           Baijou warns us of more violence yet to come...
              The fortresses of the hidden ones in the west still stand...
              why are they still alive...
    Khut sets fire to another wagon that looks...too different...
        Ithunn spots a Pasht assassin roll off the wagon and vanish...

When they choose a king, they seat him on white felt and raise him thrice...
    Then they lift him, carry him around the tent...
            set a golden sword on his lap...
        The assassin comes out of the crowd, poisoned blade in hand...
            He launches...and is tackled mid-air by Khadagan...
                Khad pins the assassin and holds his own dagger at his throat...
            Ithunn strikes some pressure points...
                AND Squee turns an assassination into a Joke...
                    But he thinks its not very funny...
            The assassin's eyes flash with insane purpose...
                He pops his shoulder out of socket trying to break Khad's grip...
                    AND is stopped cold...
    The corronation proceeds...
        The party swear oaths of fealty to the Jalin's Golden Horde...
            (or Vadim, Ado, Sorq, and Khut at least)
        From the side, the Malik, led by Barruk charge Subotai's contingent...
        Jalin rises from his throne and speechifies...
            And gives us the Sulde of the Altan Ordu...
                to carry forth the vision of unity, tolerance, and empire...
            "I place my troops and my people at your disposal my generals..."
            "We may not hear...call us through boldness, through random chance..."
    Vadim pats Khut on the shoulder and says "Show Subotai our clemency..."
        AND Khut drops a poisoned arrow right between Subotai's clavicles...
       
AND they all fade...
    AND we're all bat-shit crazy...
        AND Jalin's gardener opens the door to let us out...

There are some things on the floor...
        10 Champion (L6) Warbeasts
        Tea prepared by the Khagan's own hand (potion of mind reading)
        A scroll of Rary's Telepathic Bond (puffing myconid spores as a component)
        2 Potions of Invisibility (composed by the Khagan's hand)
            "reverse halucination" -- everyone ignores convinced you're not real
        Writings -- The Secret History of the Altan Ordu
            Prayers/Scriptures of the Altan Ordu:
                Incendiary Cloud
                Regenerate
                Commune with Nature
        The golden sulde
            Spear with a disk around it with long golden hairs...
    Khad comes back with some plants:
        Black Lotus
        Green Lotus
        Purple Lotus
        Ironwood
        Good Berries
        Spuds
        and a handful of Myconid spores
    Khad communes with the Gardener and sets him to work planting...
   
Outside there are two encamped armies...
    one of ours...and nearly twice as many Malik and Naiman...
    We ride in...chat with Ganbaatar...the head over to parley...
        Barruk points out that some of the Gond troops are steppes Malik...
    Everyone makes with the thunder, lightning, fire, ice, water, and dust...
        They are duly impressed...mostly...
        They say "Join up or die"...Ado says "That was our idea..."
        Barruk introduces himself as being of "The People of the Fallen Star"...
            Who are apparently loyal soldiers of the Gond...
        Their captain asks Barruk to swear to the Shashahar he'll call off the fight
            and take us on as "irregulars" in defense of Gond Shahar...
        Barruk swears as Irregulars to fight the Empty Circle...
            but not "under the yoke" of the Shashahar.
       
We return to our camp to prepare the troops to head south...
    Vadim makes nice with the Gray Lady (who has finally joined us)...
        AND gets her to quicken 60 landshark eggs...which we plant behind us...
    Barruk heads off into the Gond to seek out the other Fallen Star...
        All of whom are integrated into the 3 Gonds of the Eastern Marches...
        Champions are good in a battle, poor in a siege...
        He starts trying to assemble "a proper herd" among the Malik...
    Ado marries some warblers as a way of entreating Drowned River...
    Sorq encourages the nohai to breed...and we've got 40 more puppies...
    Khut grabs one of the champion warbeasts ("Arrow")...
        goes in search of the Black Crows...hoping to talk to the Sureshafts...
            gets spotted...kisses the mammoth and runs south...
                And rides like the wind with another army on his heels...
    Ithunn starts a military/survival academy for the kids and teens...
        Squee makes up some flyers to advertise for the school...
       
A week later, we approach Vohu Mana...
    An Empty Circle column is coming in from the east....
        (sans scouts who we PWN'd previously)...
    Barruk convinces the Gond leader to seed all 60 landshark eggs...
        AND the entire northern column is DEVOURED by landsharks...
            Or at least halted after the first couple landshark attacks...
    We arrive at Vohu Mana a day late...
        It is burning...top to bottom...
            Very few (~1800) refugees fleeing to the west...
            A huge array of slow, fortified seige engines...
    Sorq drops an Incendiary Cloud on the seige weaponry...
        AND summons a modron pentadrone to wreak havoc...
    Ado drops Commune with Nature...
        The Empty Circle seeks that which is not at all natural...
            They try to drive despair before them...
                use their prayers to find whether or not there are gods...
                send "prophets" to egg refugees on into praying...
        There is a large, living, pulsing body of water under the enemy forces...
        The most valuable thing in the city = The blessing of Qormusta Tngri...
    Khut rides into the city at breakneck speed...
        To a dais, upon which the Empty Circle are holding a feast...
            atop a deck of those who groan and die...
                The defenders of Vohu Mana are stacked beneath the dais...
                    being crushed to death...
    Khadagan prays to Odqan Talaqan...
        she takes the city in her warm embrace...
            As if it was not burning enough already...
    Squee sneaks in, dumps food, and steals all their plates...
    AND their commanders rise up and look menacing...
   
NEXT TIME:
    A battle on a pile of people...
    Every time Josh says "Seige Engine"...
        -- Sorq says "I set that crap on fire!"
       
       
   

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Beyond the Shore: Session 1

Being the first session of a new pirate-themed game I started this past week, combining elements of Beyond the Wall and Pathfinder's Skull and Shackles Adventure Path, with a lot of additional inspiration from Naomi Novak's Temeraire series, and license taken to completely butcher 17th-century history. Look for the further adventures of our poor press-ganged colonists in the future...

How do you get from this

And this

To this?

We're about to find out laddies...

_________________________________________________________________

It was the end of plum harvest season in the village of Moonplum. For a month, everyone in the village has been hard at work: picking, sorting, and pressing juice and pulp from the fruits. This was followed by two weeks of relative quiet, as the must was set out to ferment by old Jesse McLaud. Then everyone was back, hard at work, fining and filtering the solids out of the wine, then packing it into barrels for aging.

The last of the packing was finished this morning. As dusk fell, Thaduk, sitting watch, spotted sails on the horizon. An hour later, the ship turns and can be seen to be a large, three masted, square-rigged Dutch Pinnace, flying the blue and white striped sails of an Imperial Merchantman.

Right on time.

The merchants always come this time of year, sailing around from Port Montague to collect the wine to be taken to be sold in London, and bringing goods from around the Empire to trade. Thaduk let out a loud toot from his bugle, signalling that he'd spotted something and all the village came running. A general cheer went up soon after as word of the siting, and the promise of spices, fresh cloth for clothes, lamp oil, perfumes, and other luxuries, and likely letters from friends and family back in England and the other colonies spread through the village.

As darkness fell, lanterns were lit on the ship and Thaduk's keen eyes say it lower anchor, still well out in the bay, unwilling to navigate the shoals in the dark.

Meanwhile, the people of Moonplum went to work. Tables are set up in the village green where the militia typically drills, and the fires in every home are put to work preparing the harvest feast to greet the visitors -- plum puddings, roast pig with plum chutneys, bread with plum jam, potatoes with savory plum gravy...plums in everything really (an excuse to show off your wares and argue for a better price on the trade), with a few of the local fruits and vegetables thrown in for variety.

It was all rather hurried, as the annual ship had arrived much more punctually than ever before. Tomorrow would be a day of feasting and bartering, followed by another day of hard work for everyone, loading the casks of wine into the ship's hold (where they will age on the nearly year-long voyage back to England) and offloading goods.

_________________________________________________________________

Early the next morning, the ship tacked in and dropped anchor less than a hundred yards from shore. Two long-boats are set in the water and seventeen crewmen come ashore, dressed in blue coats and white uniforms of the Imperial Merchant-Navy. As usual, the rest of the crew would stay to man the ship and one of the boats will be sent back later with meals for them.

As they come up, our heroes note that they are an oddly motley group for Navy-men: a couple of Africans, as well as a couple of the short-folk, and WOMEN...which is highly unusual for a sailing ship that is not intended for colonization. In addition, they've apparently seen a fair amount of action, judging from the number visible scars...one even has three fingers missing.

Caddis, eyes the strange crew, then goes over to greet them informing them that a feast has been prepared. At word of the feast, the ship's cook, fat and slovenly in a much-stained jacket, asks Caddis to lead him to where the food is being prepared, showing a crate filled with a bottle of fine brandy and a large collection of spices. Caddis leads the man up to where the village women are boiling puddings and roasting a whole cassowary, and the cook proceeds to heavily douse all the food with what smells like nutmeg -- all the while extolling the virtues of the exotic spice for all manner of dishes.

Not wanting him to ruin all the food, Caddis charms the cook, and convinces him that the brandy might go over better than the nutmeg as a flavoring for the puddings. The cook, who introduces himself as Ambrose Kroop, agrees (with many a hearty, jovial slap on the back for his new best friend) and sloshes the fine liquor all over the roasting cassowary and a couple of the puddings.

The captain is a young man, with a shaved head and only the beginnings of a beard. As soon as he comes ashore, he quickly picks Governor William out of the growing crowd of villagers and greets the Governor with much more warmth and much less formality than is typical. There is a brief, whispered exchange between the two, then everyone is led up away from shore to the village green for the feast.

A tall, red-bearded Scottsman wearing a the mark of a Master Mariner of the Imperial Merchant Navy, keeps close to the captains elbow and speaks not a word, followed by a pair of tough-looking African orcs. Seeing the orcs, Thaduk scampers away from the crowd and warns his uncle, Thaduk. Rather than join in the feasting, they hide in the smithy, spying on the affairs from afar.

_________________________________________________________________

Once all the greetings are made and everyone (except the Thaduk's) are assembled around the great tables that have been set up, Governor William gives a tedious, brief speech, very tragically mirthful, somehow stretching a mere few dozen words out over several minutes with a delivery that brings much snickering from the crewmen and groaning from the villagers (who are sure that such a thing could not possibly improve their bargaining position). When the speeches and prayers to the plum-tree god are done, everyone tucks into the feast.

Caddis, seated next to his new best friend, notices that Mr. Kroop, while drinking heavily from the new plum wine, is not eating anything. He offers Kroop some of the aged wine, which the fat cook quickly spits out, claiming that he likes his booze fresh and sweet, and manages to convince the man to try a few bites. When the cook finally eats, with nothing obviously untoward happening, Caddis finally helps him self and immediately starts to feel very drowsy. Kroop gives him another friendly pat on the shoulder and says that 'it's only Taggit oil, we'll get you all fixed up once we're on the ship"...

From his hidden vantage, Thaduk notices that none of the other crewmen are eating either--a few pick one or two bites, but mostly they are only playing with their food. Sure that this means trouble, Thaduk grabs his uncle and sneaks out of the smithy. They circle wide around the green, trying to get to the boats on shore without being seen.

Sure enough, only a few minutes into the feast, all of the villagers start nodding off. Governor William stands up to give a toast and pitches forward, face first into his pudding. Henrye Allingham starts to rise, but takes a cosh to the back of the head from one of the nearby sailors. Margaret Samson, one of the village's drowned, grabs her infant grand-daughter and runs for her house, The other sailors rise with truncheons and blackjacks and quickly set about sapping any of the villagers who were not rendered unconscious by the poisoned food.

The sailors are snapped away from their work by the sound of a loud crash from down by the shore. Everyone turns to see Thaduk Jr. lift one of the ten-man longboats over his head and hurl it into the top of a tree. The two Thaduks then leap into the remaining longboat and begin rowing for the largely unmanned ship, hauling on the oars to hard that the little boat leaps several feet out of the water with every stroke.

Seeing one boat destroyed and the other getting away, the crew abandon their clubbings to rush down to the shore. Caddis, still awake, but reeling, gets dragged down to the shore by Mr. Kroop, who insists that they need to get to the ship where Kroop keeps the antidote. On the way down, Caddis manages to incapacitate four of the crewmen who had been tasting the food with a mixture of sleep and lullaby spells. The remaining crew quickly commandeer a trio of small fishing boats, shoving Cad along with them, and prepare to pursue the Thaduks.

Taking advantage of the distraction, the still-conscious Adrianna suddenly grew to gigantic proportions and overturned a table, knocking Thaduk the Sot (who had been sleeping drunkenly under the table since the night before) awake. The captain, still ashore, turns and fires a flare gun into the air. Three of the crew abandon their fishing boat to run back to the feast, while from the ship, a cannon goes off, smashing one of the village houses.

The Thaduks, still rowing hard for the ship, are hit by a sudden headwind from nowhere, which capsizes their longboat roughly ten yards from the ship. The two burly orcs dive, swimming under the boat's keel, and haul themselves up onto the deck using the tackle with which the longboats were originally lowered. On deck were only seven crewmen, four manning the cannon near the opposite rail, one in the crows nest, another at the helm, and another in the forcastle, wearing a tri-corn hat, with her arms raised (presumably controlling the wind which had assaulted their little boat).

Caddis, only-just-barely conscious, and in the stolen fishing boat with Mr. Kroop and three other sailors, whispers a command to a rower on the second fishing boat. The rower hauls hard on his ore, capsizing the small boat, dumping all four sailors into the bay. Then, of course, Caddis passed out from the taggit poison.

On shore, Adrianna, bellowing about wanting to see "the manager", pushes right past the trio of charging crewmen, taking several blows from their clubs, and charges the captain, smacking him hard with her greatsword. The captain, looking terrified at the giant raging woman, drew his sword and backed away. Thaduk the Sot stumbled to his feat and picked up the overturned table, smashing it down on the head of one of the sailors, accompanied by the sickening sound of a spine snapping, but was quickly pummeled into unconsciousness by the other two. Adrianna swung at the captain again, but he easily side-stepped this time. A shower of thrown rocks, plates, cups, and other objects rained down on her from the crewmen by the table, finally knocking her out as well.

On the ship, Thaduk Jr. dunked his head in a nearby barrel of rum, guzzling, then picked the barrel up and tossed it at the gunnery crew, knocking a pair of them over the rail and into the water. Then the woman in the tri-corn hat turned and pointed a finger at the Thaduks, and they both froze in their tracks, paralyzed. The remaining sailors aboard the ship rushed in and quickly beat the helpless orcs unconscious.

_________________________________________________________________

Caddis, Adrianna, and Thaduk awoke much later, with pounding headaches and considerably soreness elsewhere. The floor they lay on was hard and seemed shift and to sway, as if they were severely drunk or hungover (which was certainly the case for Thaduk). They were awakened by the sound of several sets of heavy footsteps, follow by some not-too-gentle kicks and someone shouting at them: “Still abed with the sun over the yardarm? On your feet, ye filthy swabs! Get up on deck and report for duty before Cap’n Harrigan flays your flesh into sausage skins and has Fishguts fry ye up for breakfast!”

Caddis was quick to comply and was ushered up on deck. The shouting man, a thick-bearded fellow in a long black overcoat, snapped a whip and gave Thaduk a slightly harder kick in the gut, which was sufficient to get him moving. Adrianna had to be dragged to her feat by a pair of toughs and hauled on deck.

The three of them were led up onto the main deck of what was clearly the same large, three-master ship, though the blue stripe had been peeled from the sails and the assembled crew wore no uniforms. The deck was crowded, everyone staring up at the aft-castle where the man who was clearly the real captain of the ship, a broad, muscular Spaniard with a long beard bound with gold rings and an eye patch, stood, flanked by the young man who had worn the captains colors the day before and Thaduk's new tricorne-hat wearing nemesis.

“Glad you could join us at last!" the captain bellowed. "Welcome to the Red Sadness! My thanks for ‘volunteering’ to join my crew. I’m Barnabas Herrera. That’s Captain Herrera to you, not that you’ll ever need to address me. I have only one rule—don’t speak to me. I like talk, but I don’t like your talk. Follow that rule and we’ll all get along fine. Oh, and one more thing. Even with you new recruits, we’re still short-handed, and I aim to keep what crew I have. There’ll be a keelhaulin’ for anyone caught killin’ anyone. Mr. Plugg! If you’d be so kind as to make pirates out of these landlubbers, it’ll save me having to put them in the sweatbox for a year and a day before I make pies out of ’em.”

With his little speech finished, the Captain vanished into his cabin beneath the aft deck. The false-captain, Mr. Plugg presumably, descended toward the 'new recruits' with a look on his face halfway between terror and uncontrollable rage. It took him some time to gain enough composure even to speak, then finally he pointed a cat-o-nine-tails at them and threatened, "First one up to the crows nest doesn't get beaten!"

Mr. Kroop stepped up and placed a friendly hand on Caddis' shoulder, "This one's mine," he said. Mr. Plugg grunted acquiescence and Caddis was quickly hustled down to the galley as the new Cook's Mate and shown around the kitchens. Caddis asked what he'd be doing as cook's mate and was told he'd be catching, cooking, and serving the crew's meals, "but today we drink!" Kroop handed him a bottle of rum and started spouting about how much he hated the other ship's officers, "It’s poison, this ship, but don’t let anyone hear you say it aloud. The hull listens, see, and the cap’n hears it all. Poison the Sadness is, though, rotten to the core. You’ll not meet a more nasty, sour piece of work than Cap’n Herrera in all your days at sea, and his crew’s the same, ’specially the first mate, Mr. Plugg. Vicious little sod, he is. He’d take his own mother’s liver to the butcher to make pies with, he would. But they leave us alone, mostly. They know I can’t ’arm ’em.”

On deck, Adriana raged out and beat Thaduk in the race to crow's nest at the top of the main-mast. From below, Mr. Plugg yelled, "You're my new rigger girl! You [to Thaduk], join the swabs!"

When they had climbed down, Adriana vanished while Thaduk calmly took his beating, three lashes with the whip, managing to lock a frighteningly stoic stare at one of the other swabs while it was happening. After the beatings were done, the man in the long black coat passed Thaduk a handful of papers, "You'll be my runner today boy! Take these up to the navigator!"

Thaduk ran up to the aft-castle (urged by a whip snapping at his heels) and handed the papers to his tricorn-wearing nemesis. At close range, he could now see that she was breathtakingly beautiful, tall, with just the right amount of curves, and long auburn hair. The navigator and sailing master snatched the papers, otherwise ignoring him, then bit her finger and made a smudge of blood on one of the papers before handing them back, "To the captain!" she said.

The rest of Thaduk's day was spent running back and forth along the length of the ship, bearing messages between the ship's many officers. Any time he slowed, a whip licked at his heels, and he got the distinct impression that they were deliberately trying to wear him out (they couldn't possibly need to send so many written messages on a ship that was only a hundred feet long).

Adrianna, invisible, slipped belowdecks and started poking about, trying to find her gear which had presumably been confiscated. She eventually found her way to the quartermaster's storeroom, tucked in behind the kitchens. A quick shoulder, with a little bit of rage, popped open the heavy, locked wooden door. Inside she found a couple tuns of rum and several stacked, foot-lockers. She jimmied a nearly-broken lock off of one locker, and opened it to be greeted by an arrow to the gut from a trap set on it. Inside she found climbing gear, a disguise kit, several vials of alchemical reagents, and other sundries, but not the weapons she was looking for. She quickly tested the weight of the other chests, and it was clear that several could hold her greatsword, but then the quartermaster stormed into the kitchen.

The quartermaster, a reedy half-orc with a massive scar across her neck and one long tusk, railed at Caddis (the only person she could see). A charming smile earned him a relatively easy escape, though not without some glaring and growling at his back. Adriana, still invisible, then slipped out of the storeroom while the quartermaster gathered up her tools to repair the door...


Monday, October 5, 2015

The Exodus: Session 15

I promise that one of these days, I'll get around to converting these adventure logs to prose...

At the gathering for Genghis to pick his successor
    Subotai stands up to recite "The Slaying of Bektor"...
        the story of the assassination of the Great Khan's older brother...
        Cemented the Khan's commitment to never again have family infighting
            Ithunn suggests that this is a thinly-veiled threat...
                AND he BOMBS it...
    The great khan, angered, declares that its time to go out to the Arena...
        On the way out Squee and Khut throw together a Sulde...
            made from Squee's hair...PINK, maggotfolk hair...
            Vadim and Breaks lay some undetectable buffs on Barruk
        We walk out to see tents as far as the eyes can see,
                huge herds of Holy Mountain Beasts...
        The Arena is a tall earthen mound, square-sloped, rounded with stakes
            The four brother's champions stand ready...
                Jhamoushka -- A gargantuan, enormously fat steppefolk
                    with an enormous, bloody spiked club
                        ...he slams his club into the ground and roars...
            Baijou -- A Malik champion in a meditative pose...
            AND...for Subotai...Chinua?!
                Chinua makes the happy pant of a dog greeting his pack-mate...
        They declaim the rules:
            No outside interference, battle to the death, last man standing wins
            We confer...Khut moons Subotai to keep his helpers from reading us...
            The four champions charge!
                Barruk OWNS the battle-field...
                    He commands Chinua to attack Jhamouka's ogre...
                        and Chin does exactly as told...
                    He commands the Malik to "Stand down"...
                        and the target is left shaking in his boots...
                    Then he joins Chinua in charging the ogre...
                        Barruk brands him, and Chinua mauls him...
                            the Ogre is left lying on the ground,
                                grasping at clods of earth trying to stand...
            Khut and Ithunn sneak around into position to beat any cheaters....
                One of Baijou's guys tries to snap the Malik out of it...
                    And gets silently cold-clocked by Ithunn...
                Subotai has the other nohai bagged and tagged...
                    Khut trips the guy who was standing ready to give the kill order...
                One of Subotai's dudes tries to cast an augury...
                    and gets publicly foomed by Breaks Like Wind
                        Who then joins the judges in the judge's stand...
            The fight rages on...
                One of Baijou's dudes tries to toss a potion into the ring...
                    and Ithunn snags it out of the air...
                        And the two of them get into an all-out drunken brawl...
                Squee and Ado start the crowd chanting "Thunder" to cheer Barruk...
                    Then ado sends Subotai's caller into roars of laughter...
                        AND Sorq quietly Hold Persons two of the guards on the nohai...
                            Khut punches the third, sending him flying...
                        Vadim frees the Nohai & puts bags over the guards heads...
                            LOOK three things with bags over their heads,
                               with a couple steppefolk sitting watch...
                                    nothing strange here...
                Subotai's cheater gets up, tries to grab a scroll...
                    And finds that Khut had already snagged it...
                        and replaced it with a packet of Deathroot...
                Another of Subotai's bards tries to cast a spell on the Malik...
                    AND gets called out by Breaks throwing a fireball above his head...
                Jhanoushka's dumb cheater just randomly throws things in the ring...
                    SO Khadagan wanders over and throws him...
                            Drunkenly: "I like to throw things too!"
                        and throws him again...
                            Drunkenly: "Are we still throwing things?!"
                    Vadim takes the Nohai and circles around to provide backup...
            Barruk swings at Chinua with orders to "play dead"...
                Barruk blows a blood bag...gore goes everywhere...
                    AND Sorq hits Chinua with a Feign Death...
                The ogre stands and swings at Barruk...but Ado shits in his eye...
                    Barruk flattens the Ogre...
                        then Misty-Steps into the Malik's face
                            lays a flaming hammer upside his head...
                        and Ado viciously mocks the Malik...
                            Who swings and misses...
                    Barruk keeps beating...the Malik retaliates...
                        and bursts into Flame...
                Subotai starts cheering on the Malik...
                    Ithunn stumbles in and spills a tray of drinks on him...
                        AND Vadim unscrews the wheels from Subotai's wheel-chair...
                    AND Breaks drops Grease on the judge's stand...
                        AND the legit judges go stumbling...
            AND Barruk knocks the Malik's head clean off...
                Which lands in Subotai's lap...sending him tumbling down the hill...
                     
    Then there is a mounted archery contest...Khut grabs the fastest hornbeast...
        but shoots unusually poorly...
            but scrapes a win anyways...
                thanks to Ado lacing the coarse with ballbearings behind him...
    Ghengis calls a rest and says that the next morning will be a mass-combat
        between Baijou and Jalin's troops...
            but, of course, Jalin doesn't have an army...
        We spend the night recruiting troops...
            Nohai archers...Malik cavalry...
                AND Myconids from the caves below Xanadu...
                    Some of which are HUGE!
 
    The next morning...the ground is muddy...
        Baijou's troops poison our meat...
        Then our cataphracts crush their archers...
        Baijou sends out a Mongolian Deathworm...
            the king of all deathworms...Dune style...
                And the party crashes into it...
         
    Khadagan rages and leaps into the worm's craw...
    Ado rocks the hypnotic pattern...
        but only manages to stun Barruk and Breaks...
    Vadim grabs a loose beast and tramples Barruk and Breaks awake...
        AND Breaks drops a fireball on it...
    It paralyzes squee...and swallows Sorqutani...
        BUT Sorq summons a unicorn...inside it...
            AND Khadagan poisons it with some Cacklebane...
                And he, Sorq, and the unicorn ride a wave of barf out of its mouth...
    Vadim lays down some spikes...
        AND Khut spikes it with arrow...sending it rolling into the spikes...
    Barruk drops some darkness on its head...
        AND Squee makes it giggle histariously...
            AND Sorq throws a fireball strait down its gullet...
                followed by a swarm of fire spirits...
                    AND we're all covered in deathworm guts...