Cinderella meets Don Corleone

Because I was bored...a prestige class for the Pathfinder Role-playing game. Intended for use with my take on the warlock class, but usable by any character that wants prefers spell-like abilities over spells.

A note on the "race" requirement. Within my Beyond the Shore setting, anything that is not a Human qualifies as a "Faerie". If you are playing in a more traditional high-fantasy setting but want to keep the Faerie-flavor, you may want to change this to requiring the Fey creature type or the Elf subtype, or whatever sub-set or superset of creatures you consider to be "Faeries".

The Faerie Godparent

No personal advantages will suffice without proper connections. — Charles Perrault

Faerie Godparents are enigmatic fae beings who choose to act as mentor, protector, and benefactor to one or more mortals, in the role that an actual godparent is expected to play in many societies. Faerie Godparents act in a manner atypical of their kind; they are preoccupied with the character and fortunes of their mortal protegees, often going so far as to oppose other members of their court to do so. Fairy Godparents give their mortal protegees advice, manipulate fate in their favor, and shower them with gifts (though being made by fae magic, these are often fleeting), and in exchange they demand the respect and love of their “children”. A Faerie Godparent knows that having the right connections can sometimes solve things that magic cannot, and is thus always working to grease both palms and wheels of politics.

Hit Die: d8

Requirements

Race: May not have the Human subtype.
Skills: Diplomacy 8 ranks, Knowledge (nobility) 8 ranks, Perform (any one) 5 ranks
Feats: Leadership, Any 2 Teamwork Feats
Special: Must be able to use spell-like abilities, one of which must duplicate a spell of 3rd-level or higher.

Class Skills
The Fairy Godparent’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Acrobatics (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Fly (Dex), Knowledge (local) (Int), Knowledge (nature) (Int), Knowledge (nobility) (Int), Perception (Wis), Perform (Cha), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Stealth (Dex), Swim (Str), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

• Skill Ranks per Level: 6 + Int modifier.

Level	BAB	Fort	Ref	Will	Special
1	+0	+0	+1	+1	Welcome to the Family, An Offer You Can’t Refuse, Faerie Gifts
2	+1	+1	+1	+1	Watch Over Your Children, Bonus Feat
3	+2	+1	+2	+2	Faerie Don, Coordination 1/day
4	+3	+1	+2	+2	Faerie Glamour
5	+3	+2	+3	+3	Coordination 2/day
6	+4	+2	+3	+3	Bonus Feat
7	+5	+2	+4	+4	Coordination 3/day
8	+6	+3	+4	+4	Improved Faerie Glamour
9	+6	+3	+5	+5	Coordination 4/day
10	+7	+3	+5	+5	As You Wish, Bonus Feat

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: The Faerie Godparent gains no additional proficiency with weapons or armor.

Spell-like Abilities (Sp): The caster level for all of a Faerie Godparent’s spell-like abilities is equal to his Faerie Godparent class level, plus his Warlock class levels (if any). The DCs of any saving throws against a Faerie Godparent’s spell-like abilities are always equal to 10 + 1/2 his combined Faerie Godparent and Warlock levels + his Charisma modifier. Each spell-like ability may be used a number of times per day equal to his Charisma modifier (minimum 1/day).

Welcome to the Family (Ex): At 1st level a Faerie Godparent may designate a number of mortal protegees equal to his Faerie Godparent level plus his Charisma modifier. Faerie Godparents are remarkably less fickle than their peers, and once a mortal has thus been designated as a godchild, they remain so until death. When using the Aid Another action to assist one of his godchildren, the Faerie Godparent may do so as a move action, rather than a standard action and increases the bonus granted to his godchild by an amount equal to his Charisma modifier. Any cohorts granted by the Leadership feat automatically counts as a godchild and does not count against the limit of godchildren the Faerie Godparent may have.

An Offer Your Can’t Refuse (Sp): Once a Faerie Godparent chooses to take a mortal under his wing, he does not take no for an answer. Beginning at 1st level, the Faerie Godparent gains the following spell-like abilities at the listed levels: 1st level— Beguiling Gift; 2nd level— Unnatural Lust; 3rd level— Oathbind; 4th level— Indisputable Fact; 5th level— Discern Lies; 6th level— Dream; 7th level— Gaes/Quest; 8th level— Mass Demanding Message; 9th level— Sympathy; and 10th level— Overwhelming Presence. The Faerie Godparent’s Godchildren suffer a -2 penalty on saving throws against these effects.

Faerie Gifts (Sp): The Faerie Godparent learns a number of magical abilities by which he can bestow lavish, yet fleeting gifts upon his mortal protegees. Beginning at 1st level, the Faerie Godparent gains the following spell-like abilities at the listed levels: 1st level— Fool’s Gold; 2nd level— Polypurpose Panacea; 3rd level— Make Whole; 4th level — Conjure Carriage; 5th level— Minor Creation; 6th level— Major Creation; 7th level— Heroes’ Feast; 8th level— Shadow Terrain; 9th level— Polymorph Any Object; and 10th level— Resplendent Mansion.

Bonus Feats (Ex): At 2nd level, and again at 6th level and 10th level, the Faerie Godparent gains a bonus feat from the following list: Bodyguard, Center of Power, Enlarge Spell-like Ability, Extend Spell-like Ability, Extra Cohort, Guild Emissary, In Harm’s Way, Insightful Advice, Major Spell Expertise, Minor Spell Expertise, Practiced Leader, Quicken Spell-like Ability, Underworld Connections, or any Teamwork Feat.
The Faerie Godparent must meet all the normal prerequisites of the bonus feats selected.

Watch Over Your Children (Su): Beginning at 2nd level, the Faerie Godparent constantly monitors the safety and well-being of his mortal protegees. The Faerie Godparent is able to continually monitor his Godchildren as if they were affected by a continuous Status (as the spell). Should the Status effect be somehow dispelled, the connection is automatically re-established the next time the Faerie Godparent comes into contact with the Godchild.

Faerie Don (Ex): Starting at 3rd level, the Faerie Godparent’s extensive network of connections allow him to bring some of the true might of the Faerie Courts to bear. Whenever the Faerie Godparent would attract new followers from the Leadership feat, he may choose to attract Fey creatures with a Challenge Rating equal to the level of follower he would attract, in place of a normal follower.

Coordination (Ex): Starting at 3rd level, as a standard action, the Faerie Godparent can grant any Teamwork feat he knows to all of his Godchildren within 60 feet who can see and hear him as a bonus feat. Godchildren retain the use of this bonus feat for a number of rounds equal to the Faerie Godparent’s class level. The Godchildren do not need to meet the prerequisites of these bonus feats. The Faerie Godparent can use this ability once per day at 3rd level, plus one additional time per day every two levels thereafter.

Faerie Glamour (Su): Beginning at 4th level, the Faerie Godparent learns to alter his form in order to fulfill the expectations of his protegees. At 4th level, the Faerie Godparent is under the effects of a constant Glamour (as the spell). If this effect is somehow dispelled, the Faerie Godparent can re-establish the Glamour as a swift action, at will.

Beginning at 8th level, the Faerie Godparent also benefits from a continuous Adjustable Polymorph, allowing him to alter his form to that of any humanoid creature (as per the Alter Self spell) as a swift action. This is in addition to the benefits of the Glamour.

As You Wish (Sp): At 10th level, the Faerie Godparent gains the ability to grant wishes to his mortal protegees. The Faerie Godparent can cast Limited Wish as a spell-like ability. He may only use this ability when within 30 feet of one of his Godchildren, and at their express request.

Are You Really Going to Eat That?!

I recently stumbled upon the idea for a B/X Bug Collector class from Arnold K. of goblinpunch.blogspot.com. The randomness, combined with the minor gross-out factor of catching and eating bugs for magic effects was quite pleasing to me, though, of course, the system didn't work for what I'm playing right now -- which is mostly 5e and Pathfinder. So I considered doing a Pathfinder conversion for it.

Arnold's design was based on the wizard, swapping out all of the spells for randomly collected bug-effects. While it might be fun to make a Bug-Collecting archetype for the 5e or Pathfinder wizard, I don't really have time to come up with 9 spell-levels worth of expanded bug tables -- and that seemed like overkill for a joke anyways.

So, instead, I made it into a Feat, which opens up all kinds of fun Bug-Collecting character builds (not only Wizard-y types, but Rangers, Rogues, etc.) and also keeps the whole thing fairly simple and contained. And also opens it up to my existing players without requiring them to change their class(es) should they want to try it.

Additional thanks to Chris Sanford over at Wayspell for his additional bug ideas which I wrapped up in here too.
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Bug Collector [General]
You are an amateur entomologist, and have learned to use some of the world’s weirdest bugs to your advantage.
Prerequisites: Knowledge (nature) 3 ranks, Survival 3 ranks
Benefit: By taking one hour and making a DC 20 Survival check, you can attempt to find special insects endemic to your current environment. If your Survival check succeeds, you find a number of bugs equal to 1 + your Intelligence bonus (if any). Roll 1d10 on the appropriate biome table (see below) for each bug to determine what type of bug you have harvested. Collecting bugs requires an appropriate container (such as an empty flask or jar) for each bug to be collected.

Each bug is a single-use item (similar to a magical potion or alchemical item). Unless otherwise specified, using a bug is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity. A jar containing a bug can be thrown at a target as a grenade-like weapon. Any effects of a bug that require a saving throw are made against a save DC of 10 + 1/2 your level + your Intelligence modifier. Any bug that is not used within 24 hours of when it was collected dies and becomes un-usable.

In addition, you gain a +2 bonus on saving throws against the special attacks of creatures of the Vemin type.
Special: This feat may be taken multiple times, each time it is taken it increases the number of bugs found on a successful roll by 1.

The “New World” of North America is filled with all manner of unusual creepy crawlies. Most of these are generally harmless to humans and their ilk, and don’t really qualify as monsters, and thus are generally beneath the notice (and feet) of most characters. Characters with the Bug Collector feat, however, can capitalize on these unusual creatures, which have a myriad of unusual properties.

Anyone using the Bug Collector feat should roll on the table below appropriate to their current biome.

Biome: Eastern Broadleaf Forests

1. Acid Wasp: Though less aggressive than normal Vespidae, these wasps produce an extremely strong acid within their bodies. If sufficiently agitated (such as vigorously shaking the bottle they were captured in) they will launch themselves from the opened cork in a strait line at the nearest target and sting them. This functions as per the Acid Arrow spell (caster level 3rd). They can also be crushed to create a single Acid Flask.
2. Bore Driller: These thumb-sized, ant-like insects have a sharply pointed proboscis and tough mandibles that allows them to quickly burrow through even the toughest wood. They are very photo-sensitive and will aggressively attempt to hide themselves from any light source. If placed on the skin of a creature while in conditions bright light, they will rapidly burrow just beneath the surface, dealing 2d8 points of piercing damage. The safest way to deliver the Bore-Driller is by throwing the flask at a creature (requiring a ranged touch attack).
3. Bird Eater: The venom of this massive spider, the size of a grown man’s hand, has no effect on mammals, but is extremely dangerous to birds. The mere sight of one crawling around is terrifying to all birds. Once released from its flask, any avian creature within 50-ft. must immediately make a Will save vs. fear or gain the Frightened condition.
4. Hercules Beetle: This massive beetle, nearly 7 inches long, is able to carry loads as much as 1000 times its own body mass, albeit slowly. Once released from its flask, it can be commanded to lift an object weighing not more than 2000 pounds. It will follow you around, loyally bearing its burden, at a ground movement rate of 15-ft. for up to 2 hours.
5. Pugilistic Parasite: This tiny flat-headed worm, typically found in warm standing water, violently invades its host when swallowed, destroying all other organisms in its path. When consumed it quickly makes its way throughout the victims digestive tract and cardiovascular system. The person consuming the pugilistic parasite is instantly cured of all diseases and parasites afflicting them, but is Sickened for 1d6 hours. At the end of this time, the parasite explodes out of the user’s anus, reducing them to 1 hit point, before vanishing into the ground to lay its eggs.
6. Rope Spider: These small spiders yellow-brown are only about an inch long, but weave some of the strongest silk in the world. They can be thrown at a solid surface to a maximum range of 100 feet, and will spool out their thread behind them. The hair-thin thread left in their wake is as strong as a Silk Rope and able to support a man (though climbing the micro-fiber thread can be very disconcerting). After 24 hours, the thread becomes more brittle, decreasing the break DC by 5 and reducing its hit points by one. This repeats every 24 hours, until after 4 days the thread will break if left unattended.
7. Saw Bug: This large, anti-social relative of the termite can chew through wood in record speed, and can be used to easily fell trees or break through wooden barriers. If placed on a wooden surface (or a plant-like creature) it will deal 3d6 points of damage per round (ignoring all hardness or damage reduction) for 3 round before losing interest and going its way.
8. Bind Spider: Closely related to the Rope Spider, these arachnids are slightly larger and are able to quickly produce large volumes of low-quality sheet webbing. When released from its flask, it immediately begins filling the area around itself with webs. This functions as per the Web spell, filling one 5-ft. square per round for 1d10 rounds. Once created, the webs remain until destroyed.
9. Unicorn Fly: This bizarre insect of ancient origin has five eyes, three of them raised on a long horn-like projection. Much like its fey namesake, the bug has powerful healing properties. Eating one of these bugs immediately cures the user of 1d6 hit points and allows an immediate new saving throw against any poisons afflicting the eater.
10. Whistling Grub: This damp, plump, three inch long worm makes an incredibly annoying sound when threatened, but is also very tasty (if you can get over the fact that it is a worm. If eaten one grub counts as a full meal for a medium-sized creature. If released and forced to make its cry, the grub will immediately attract some other creature intent on an easy meal. Roll on the random encounter table for your current area. The creature rolled will arrive in 1d10 rounds.

Ecosystem: South-Eastern Coastlands

1. Beach Comber: A tiny, palm sized crab with a knack for finding small, shiny objects. When released, it will scuttle off and return 2d6 rounds later, dragging a random small-sized object behind it. Once delivered, it will wander off, full of a sense of accomplishment from a job well done. A successful Tracking check (base DC 10 modified for ground hardness) can be used to trace the crab’s path back to the source of its find.
2. Black Tea Slug: Disgusting and slimy, these creatures produce a highly slippery mucus. When squeezed and wrung out, the slime of this tar black slug works like a Grease spell, though you must be adjacent to the area or object to be greased.
3. Black Musta Lentaa: The bite of these large flies is extremely painful. When released, it will immediately bite the nearest creature (so make sure you toss it good and far, and it your mark). The bite deals 1d6 nonlethal damage and the target must make a Fortitude save or be Stunned for 1 round due to the excruciating pain.
4. Bunker Barnacle: These shallow-water barnacles have a unique defensive mechanism, instantly calcifying anything that eats them. Popping a Bunker Barnacle in your mouth causes you to be instantly Petrified for 1d4 rounds. During this time you gain Hardness 15 against all attacks, but otherwise are in immovable rock.
5. Eldritch Worm: This tiny creature looks more like a detached, suckered tentacle than a worm, but is somehow able to move on its own. By sliding this into your ear, and allowing it to crawl in completely, you gain Arcane Sight (as the spell) for 10 minutes. Strangely, the worm never comes back out.
6. St. Tollan’s Hermit: Through sucking this poor, malformed crab from its shell and swallowing whole, you gain the ability to tunnel through soft earth as if you had a Burrow speed of 10-ft. for 1d4 minutes.
7. Fulgens Gemma Beetle: By squeezing this glittering beetle into your mouth, and swallowing the innards, you can vomit forth a single brightly coloured ray. This functions as the spell Prismatic Spray save that it targets only a single creature and requires a ranged touch attack. If the ray is not used within 1d4 rounds, the person eating the beetle suffers the effects of the prismatic spray instead.
8. Naty Maton Fly: Through snorting the larval form of the fly straight from the jar, the user grows needle tipped proboscis where their nose and mouth use to be. For 1d4 minutes, the user can use the proboscis to make a melee touch attack as a standard action that deals 1d6 points of damage, and heals the users for an equal amount of health. During this time, the user is unable to talk, eat normally, or perform any other action that requires a functional mouth.
9. Wave Crasher Flea: The blood of this tiny insect is actually pure alcohol. Anyone ingesting the flea must make a Fortitude save or immediately become terribly drunk, gaining the Sickened condition. The condition lasts until the user rests or it is otherwise healed. This counts as consuming an entire bottle of alcohol for the purpose of using abilities like Drunken Rage or Drunken Boxing. It is said the original waves were started from drunken whales vomiting.
10. Siren Slug: The Bug Collector whispers to the slug, before releasing it. It then begins to make a high pitched hypnotic “song”. All creatures (including the Bug Collector) within 30 feet that can hear the slug must make a Will save or be affected as per the Suggestion spell (told to the slug in the initial whisper). The suggestion lasts for 10 minutes. This is a sonic, mind-affecting effect, but is not language dependent as the slug translates the Bug Collectors whispers into subliminal signals.

Biome: Caves and Underground

1. Albino Cricket: Eating this tiny, white-skinned cricket grants the user Darkvision out to a range of 60 feet (or a 30-ft. increase to the range of their existing Darkvision) for 1 hour.
2. Crocodile Maggot: Though called maggots, these mostly-immobile, long worms are actually the larval forms of giant centipedes. When released from its jar, the crocodile maggot will immediately molt, transforming into an adult Giant Centipede. After molting the creatures are extremely hungry and will attack the nearest creature with intent to kill. The Bug Collector has no control over the centipede, so it is suggested that the jar be thrown far.
3. Coward Moth: Each wing of these brown-spotted moths is about the size of a man’s hand. While they overwinter in caves, they have a great dislike for enclosed areas. If released from their jar when indoors or underground, the moth will instinctively find the fastest, most direct route to open air (which, due to their size, is usually large enough for a man to fit through — with minimal excavation).
4. Fire Beetle Larva: These fat, pulsating grabs are extremely hot to the touch and taste of peppers. When the larva is consumed, the user gains the ability to belch forth a cone of fire up to three times within the next hour, as per the Fire Breath spell (save for the duration).
5. Glow Worm: The heads of these foot-long, legless green worms glow brightly when threatened. When squeezed harshly, a glow worm sheds normal light in a 30-foot radius and increases the light level by one step for an additional 30 feet beyond that area (darkness becomes dim light and dim light becomes normal light). A glow worm can glow for up to 2 hours (these do not need to be consecutive) before the worm dies.
6. Mnemobeetle: Small, short-lived, and exclusively subteranean, these beetles possess ever-so-slight psionic capability. When eaten, the user’s mind is filled with visions of the beetles short lives, giving the user immediate insight into the cavern or dungeon complex in which the beetle was found (layout of rooms, sources of water, major predators, etc.). In addition, any psionic being eating a Mnemobeetle regains 1 psionic power point.
7. Nursery Spider: These hairy, brown-striped, long-legged spiders are half-an-inch long and mostly harmless. Both males and females half marsupial-like pouches in their abdomens in which eggs are stored after mating. When eaten, these eggs hatch immediately and the nearly-microscopic nymphs swarm throughout their hosts body and begin extruding micro-hairs and webbing out through the user’s pores in an attempt to escape. The user suffers 2 points of Dexterity damage due to the webbing clinging to the skin and the crawling sensation under their it, but gains the ability to Spider Climb for 30 minutes. After this time, the nymphs die and bother the user no longer.
8. Pinnate Scolipede: These tiny multi-legged gray isopod is closely related to the woodlouse, and no bigger than a grain of rice, and feeds on all manner of cave-fungi. When threatened it will bite a target and disgorge the contents of its stomach into the puncture, badly poisoning the victim. Thus they must be harvested with great care. Anyone coming into skin contact with a Scolipede must make a Fortitude save or suffer the effects of Violet Vemon. Because skin contact is necessary and they are so small and generally fragile, scolipedes are typically poured directly onto a victim by a would-be poisoner (rather than breaking a jar onto the victim).
9. Rot Grub: Rot grubs are nauseating parasites that feed on flesh and nest in corpses. The simplest way to collect and weaponize these creatures is simply to shove a chunk of infected flesh into the jar (rather than trying to catch the grubs themselves). Once the jar is opened, 1d6 grubs swiftly burst from the carcass to burrow into the nearest creature, which can attempt a DC 15 Reflex save to avoid the grubs (but only if the creature is aware of the grubs’ presence). Any amount of damage reduction is enough to provide immunity to infestation. Once rot grubs have infested a living body, they burrow toward the host’s heart, brain, and other key internal organs, eventually causing death. On the first round of infestation, applying flame to the point of entry can kill the grubs and save the host, but this inflicts 1d6 points of fire damage to the victim. Cutting the grubs out also works, but the longer the grubs remain in a host, the more damage this method does. Cutting them out requires a slashing weapon and a DC 20 Heal check, and inflicts 1d6 points of damage per round that the host has been infested. If the Heal check is successful, one grub is removed. Remove disease kills any rot grubs in or on a host. Each round that rot grubs infest the host, he most make a DC 17 Fortitude save or suffer 1d2 points of Constitution damage. Successful saves do not remove the grubs from the hosts body, they merely avoid damage for that round.
10. Vociferous Cricket: These little bugs are almost cute, though their chirping is dangerously loud. Thankfully they only chirp when exposed to light (and thus are usually captured in opaque jars). When the cricket is exposed to any light above dim light, it immediately unleashes a deafening cacophony of chirping. This acts as a Sound Burst spell, centered on the cricket.

Biome: Central Plains

1. Blattoderm: These swarming, palm-sized isopods are covered in thick, tough chitin and feed on the body heat of mammals. When released from their jar, these bugs will swarm over the user’s body, covering him from head to toe and granting him a +8 Armor bonus to AC. The bugs count as Light armor, and impose a -3 armor check penalty and a 20% chance of spell failure (even to spellcasters that do not normally suffer spell failure from light armor) due to the distraction of having them crawl over your body. After two hours, the bugs fall off, sated and the user suffers 1d6 points of cold damage.
2. Chaos Cicada: When agitated (such as smashing their jar on the ground) these bugs unleash a noise that is said to drive men to madness. All creatures within 50 feet that can hear the cicada must make a Will save or be Confused for 1d6 rounds.
3. Dragon Ant: Though less than half an inch long, these spikey monstrosities are a true terror — swarming over targets and injecting them with painful venom. When a jar of fire ants is broken on a target, the victim must make a Fortitude save vs. poison or be Stunned for 1d6 rounds. On a successful save, the target is stunned for only 1 round. The lingering pain can last for days.
4. Elf Beetle: Native to Faerie, these tiny creatures give off faint multi-hued glow. If crushed, the beetles explode in a cascade of sticky-phosphorescence that coats all creatures within 5-ft., affecting them as per the Faerie Fire spell. The sticky substance loses its glow after about 10 minutes, and can be washed off with water.
5. Jeweled Beetle: The beautiful, multi-coloured shells of these bugs are highly prized. A jeweled beetle can be sold or used in trade, and has an average value of 1£.
6. Grimbly Fly: This normal-looking fly feels almost completely weightless. In fact, it is filled with a highly compressed lighter-than air gas. If eaten, the user’s body and blood quickly become suffused with the gas, allowing them to Fly (as the spell) for 1 minute. At the end of this time, the user must make a Fortitude save or become Nauseated for 1 minute due to the rapidly decompressing gas in their bloodstream.
7. Longfly: The unusually long thorax of these flies produces a strange colorless, salty-tasting liquid. When consumed, the liquid interferes with magical energies, affecting the consumer as per a targeted Dispel Magic (caster level 3rd). If the consumer does not have any spell effects currently active on them, the next spell they cast within 1 hour is automatically countered as if by a dispel magic. The liquid can be used to poison a drink, and remains active for up to one hour.
8. Brain Beetle: If placed near the ear of a mammalian creature, these little blue bugs will burrow into the ear canal and latch onto the victim’s brain. The victim gains the ability to Detect Thoughts (as the spell) for 10 minutes. At the end of this time, the victim must make a Fortitude save or fall unconscious for 1d10 minutes. After which the beetle will emerge and go its way. It is unknown what, if anything, the beetles actually do when in the victim’s head.
9. Purple Worm Larva: As gargantuan as purple worms are, their freshly-hatched larvae are surprisingly small, not much bigger than a man’s fist. Also surprisingly, the nearly mindless worms have a vengeful maternal streak. When the larva is killed it will release a phermone that has a 1 in 6 chance of attracting an adult Purple Worm in 1d6 hours. The worm will home in on the location where the larvae was killed and will by no means be under the bug collector (or anyone else’s) control.
10. Zattis Dragonfly: These little neon-pink dragon-flies have surprisingly powerful wings. When released from its jar, the sudden rush from the zattis dragonfly’s takeoff will kick up a huge cloud of dust filling a 100-ft. radius around the point of release and obscuring vision as per the Obscuring Mist spell. The dust will settle after 1 minute.

Biome: Western Desert and Xeric Shrublands:

1. Camel Grub: A bloated grub about the size of a small shoe. Surprisingly full of water – really just more than it should have. 1d4 pints worth, in fact. Enough to extinguish a touch, or fill a water skin. The water is clean and refreshing, with no ill effects gained from drinking straight from the bug.
2. Fasting Beetle: A green beetle full of chlorophyll. Swallowing it whole gives the user a greenish tint to their skin and removes the need to eat for the day, as long as they spend most of it in a well lit area.
3. Cactus Dancer: Lithe, needle legged spider pierces flesh as readily as the cactus spines it dances across. When released, the Cactus Dancer will scurry over the nearest creature, inflicting 1d4 points of Bleed damage before escaping. The target will continue to take bleed damage as normal until healed.
4. Corpse Crier Worm: A thin, pale worm that, when placed into the ear of a corpse, will burrow in, stimulating not yet rotten neurons. The corpse will be able to answer questions as per the Speak with Dead spell for 1d6 minutes before the brain bits become too eaten to continue.
5. D’nith Dust Devil: A trembling little thing with the ability to burst when frightened as a, presumably, evolutionary defense mechanism. When released, it creates a 20-ft. radius burst of stinging sand. Anyone in the area must make a Fortitude save or be Blinded for 1d6 rounds.
6. Missile Hornet: A blue and black schemed hornet, with an ethereal glow. By shaking the capture phial vigorously, then uncorking and pointing towards a target, the hornet will strike out, automatically hitting as per the Magic Missile spell, dealing 1d6 magical piercing damage.
7. Scorpion: Just a normal scorpion. You ever have one of these thrown at you? Good Lord. Target must make a Will save vs. fear, or become Shaken for 1 round and drop everything they’re currently holding as they freak out.
8. Skillapede: A foot long centipede looking monstrosity​, with legs nearly the same length as its central body. When applied along the user’s spine, the skillapede burrows its various appendages into the flesh. Its legs wrap around the nervous system, the fangs pierce the base of the skull. Why use this horrific thing? Because somewhere along the way someone, somehow, figured out the bug bestows increased skill ability. The process takes 10 minutes and deals 1d4 points on Con damage to the user. At the end of this time, the user permanently gains a number of bonus skill points equal to the Con damage dealt (1d4 skill points). A given subject cannot benefit from more than a single Skillapede (unless they are possessed of multiple heads/spines).
9. Apocalocus: A black and red locus with far too many barbs. When placed or thrown on an inanimate object made from organic materials (wooden door, leather jerkin, coal vein), it will devour that item entirely, before collapsing into a food coma. This acts as per the Disintegrate spell, save that it does not affect creatures, nor does it affect inorganic materials.
10. Grim Maggot: Actually an inch long caterpillar, bearing a skull pattern on its head and a vantablack body. Upon being released from the jar, the Maggot will crawl exactly 10’ before standing on its hind most legs an beginning a sobering dirge loud enough to be heard up to 50 feet away for 1d4 rounds. This acts as per the Animate Dead spell (caster level 3rd), affecting any corpses within hearing range. The skeletons or zombies created by the Grim Maggot are not under the Bug Collector’s control (though they may be subsequently controlled by other means).

The Spirit of My Pneumatic Hammer

I just finished laying some hard-wood floors in my house over the weekend. Every time I swung a hammer at the pneumatic floor-nailer, this is all I could think of. All glory and praise to the Pneumats for making my work so much easier...

Here is a fairy as strong as a hill giant for your Pathfinder-compatible PC-crushing pleasure.

The Pneumats

CR 3

XP 800
N Diminuative Fey
Init +4; Senses Low-Light Vision, Cloud Sight; Perception +2

DEFENSE

AC 20, touch 18, flat-footed 16 (+4 Dex, +4 size, +2 natural)
hp 9 (2d6+2)
Fort +1, Ref +7, Will +5
Damage Reduction 2/cold iron

OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft., fly 50 ft. (perfect)
Melee Earthbreaker +8 (1d8+10)
Space 1 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 6th, +8 Concentration)

At will—levitate (self only)

3/day—invisibility (self only)

1/day—control winds (DC 17)

STATISTICS

Str 25, Dex 19, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 14
Base Atk +1; CMB +4; CMD 18
Feats Flyby Attack [B], Power Attack [B], Titan Technique
Skills Appraise +2, Craft (carpentry) +5, Fly +27, Intimidate +4, Knowledge (engineering) +5, Perception +2, Stealth +21
Languages Auran, Sylvan
SQ Cloud Form, Cloud Sight, Hold Breath

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Cloud Form (Su)

A Pneumat can change itself into a cloudy vapor as a swift action for a number of rounds per day equal to its Hit Dice. These rounds do not have to be consecutive and can be spread out throughout the day. This ability functions as gaseous form except the Pneumat's fly speed is unchanged.

Cloud Sight (Su)

A Pneumat can see through fog, clouds, and similar obscuring effects with perfect clarity, including magical or supernatural fogs and clouds. Creatures and objects do not gain concealment from a Pneumat due to such conditions.

ECOLOGY

Environment Plane of Faerie
Organization solitary, pair, or barn raising (5–50)
Treasure standard (tiny earthbreaker, other treasure)

Pneumats are among the smallest of the Fey, and yet they possess a strength much greater than any mortal man. Powered by the wind, these creatures, not much bigger than a mouse, can easily lift a large wagon by themselves or drive a nail through several inches of oak with a single blow. Unscrupulous Imperial wizards often attempt to harness the Pseumat’s power, locking them in small tanks and forcing them to perform manual labor.

Much more organized than other Fey, and with much longer attention spans, Pneumats love to build things, and are often found in large groups. They will happily spend hours at a time raising barns or constructing other wooden structures. Unfortunately, they don’t really care if anyone wants such structures, and a group of Pneumats can quickly devastate the local ecology — clearing huge swaths of trees to build homes that no one needs.

Like many fey Pneumats can choose to become invisible, and thus are seldom seen. When visible, they appear like tiny elves, less than 9 inches in height, with sky-blue skin and unruly cloud-like tufts of white hair on their heads. They typically carry tiny sledge-hammers taller than themselves.

My Take on the Warlock

This is an adaptation of the Warlock class published for Pathfinder by Adamant Entertainment Group, itself an adaptation of the D&D v3.5 Warlock class which appeared in Complete Arcane. The intent is to revive some of the “otherworldly” feel of the original class and playing up the importance of the Warlock's extraplanar patrons, while keeping the elegance of the use of arcane school powers from the Adamant adaptation, and also exploiting mechanics that already exist in Pathfinder as much as possible.

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Warlocks are seekers of the knowledge that lies hidden in the fabric of the multiverse, Through pacts made with mysterious beings of supernatural power, warlocks unlock magical effects both subtle and spectacular. Drawing on the ancient knowledge of angels, archons, devils, demons, and even stranger extraplanar beings, warlocks piece together arcane secrets to bolster their own power,

A warlock is defined by a pact with an otherworldly being, Sometimes the relationship between warlock and patron is like that of a cleric and a deity, though the beings that serve as patrons for warlocks are not gods, A warlock might lead a cult dedicated to a demon prince, an archdevil, or an utterly alien entity-beings not typically served by clerics. More often, though, the arrangement is similar to that between a master and an apprentice, The warlock learns and grows in power, at the cost of occasional services performed on the patron’s behalf.

Adventures: Warlocks are driven by an insatiable need for knowledge and power, which compels them into their pacts and shapes their lives, This thirst drives warlocks into their pacts and shapes their later careers as well. Stories of warlocks binding themselves to fiends are widely known, but many warlocks serve patrons that are not fiendish. Sometimes a traveler in the wilds comes to a strangely beautiful tower, meets its fey lord or lady, and stumbles into a pact without being fully aware of it. And sometimes, while poring over tomes of forbidden lore. a brilliant but crazed student’s mind is opened to realities beyond the material world and to the alien beings that dwell in the outer void.

Once a pact is made, a warlock’s thirst for knowledge and power can’t be slaked with mere study and research. No one makes a pact with such a mighty patron if he or she doesn’t intend to use the power thus gained. Rather, the vast majority of warlocks spend their days in active pursuit of their goals. which typically means some kind of adventuring. Furthermore, the demands of their patrons drive warlocks toward adventure.

Characteristics: Warlocks harbor great reserves of mystical energy. The touch of their patrons and the font of magic burning in their souls fundamentally alters them, not only cosmetically, but making them resistant to many forms of attack and arming them with dangerous power. Warlocks do not cast spells, instead learning a variety of spell-like and arcane powers from their patrons. What they lack in versatility, they make up for by being more resilient than wizards, sorcerers, or witches.

Alignment: Warlocks may be of any alignment. The powers they serve run the gambit from cruel and capricious, to sublime and benevolent, and everything in between. Most warlock patrons place limitations on whom they will form a pact with, but the full range of alignments are represented.

Other Classes: Warlocks have an interesting relationship with sorcerers, in that they are the source of many a sorcerer’s power. The changes to body and spirit brought on by a Warlock’s pacts practically ensures that any of a warlock’s offspring will be born with sorcerous blood. Thus sorcerers in particular (as well as bloodragers) are often viewed with contempt by Warlocks, like children playing with power they can’t possibly understand.

Because of their unusual relationships with their extraplanar patrons, Warlocks seldom get along with clerics, paladins, inquisitors, and similar servants of the divine. Likewise, while they are two sides of the same coin, Warlocks often view witches with the same disdain that they do sorcerers, because of the witch’s lack of direct knowledge of their patrons and need for the proxy that is a familiar.

Ability Scores: Charisma is the most important ability for a Warlock, as it controls how often they can use many of their abilities, as well as their save DCs. Intelligence is also important, as it determines how often a Warlock may use his eldritch talents. Dexterity affects the accuracy of a Warlock’s eldritch blast and also aids his AC due to his reliance on light armor.

Game Rule Information:
Warlocks have the following game statistics.
Alignment: Any.
Hit Die: d8.
Base Attack Bonus: Average.
Base Fortitude Saves: Poor.
Base Reflex Saves: Poor.
Base Will Saves: Good.
Starting Wealth: 3d6 x10gp
Starting Age: Moderate.

Table 1-n: The Warlock

Level	Special
1	Patron, Patron Skills, Patron Spell, Eldritch Blast (1d6), Aura, Languages
2	Contact Patron (augury), Patronic Transformation
3	Eldritch Talent, Eldritch Blast (2d6)
4	Patronic Transformation, Eldritch Essence
5	Eldritch Talent
6	Patronic Transformation, Eldritch Blast (3d6)
7	Eldritch Talent
8	Patronic Transformation, Contact Patron (divination)
9	Eldritch Talent, Eldritch Blast (4d6)
10	Patronic Transformation, Patron Ability Bonus
11	Eldritch Talent, Advanced Eldritch Talents
12	Patronic Transformation, Eldritch Blast (5d6)
13	Eldritch Talent
14	Patronic Transformation, Contact Patron (commune)
15	Eldritch Talent, Eldritch Blast (6d6)
16	Patronic Transformation
17	Eldritch Talent
18	Patronic Transformation, Eldritch Blast (7d6)
19	Eldritch Talent
20	Patronic Transformation, Patron Ability Bonus

Class Skills:
A warlock’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are: Bluff (Cha), Craft (Int), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge [arcana] (Int), Knowledge [the planes] (Int), Profession (Wis), Spellcraft (Int), Stealth (Dex), and Use Magic Device (Cha).
Skill Points per Level: 2 + Int modifier.

Class Features:
The following are class features of the warlock.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Warlocks are proficient with all simple weapons and one exotic weapon of their choice (in emulation of the strange weapons favored by their patrons). They are proficient with light armor, but not with shields.

Aura: Regardless of the Warlock’s alignment, he always radiates an aura corresponding to the alignment of his Patron, as an outsider with Hit Dice equal to his Warlock level (see Detect Evil). Thus a Warlock with a Demon patron will always radiate an aura of Chaos and Evil, while a Warlock with an Aeon patron will never radiate an alignment aura.

Languages: A warlock’s bonus language options include Celestial, Abyssal, and Infernal (the languages of good, chaotic evil, and lawful evil outsiders, respectively). These choices are in addition to the bonus languages available to the character because of her race.

Warlock’s Patron: At 1st level, a Warlock must select a Patron. A Warlock’s patron is a always a unique, specific outsider, typically a powerful member of one of the major races of outsiders (angels, demons, garudas, rakshasa, or similar creatures). The DM should develop the Warlock’s patron as an NPC. While the Patron cannot command the Warlock or dictate the Warlock’s actions, the Patron does serve as the Warlock’s mentor, teaching the Warlock his powers and offering advice when called on to do so.

The Warlock must select his patron from the list below. The Warlock’s choice of patron grants a number of abilities. At 1st-level, the Patron grants the warlock a single spell-like ability, which the warlock can cast a number of times per day equal to his Charisma modifier (minimum 1/day). The Patron also trains the Warlock in a number of skills. The Warlock automatically gains 1 rank in the two indicated skills at each Warlock level. These do not count against the number of skill-points the Warlock gains otherwise. The two indicated skills become class skills, if they are not already. At 10th level, the Patron grants the warlock a +2 increase to a specific ability score. This increase in permanent and functions exactly like the ability score increases a character gains every 4 levels. At 20th level, the Patron grants a +2 increase to a second ability score.

The caster level for all of a Warlock’s spell-like abilities is equal to his Warlock class level. The DCs of any saving throws against a Warlock’s spell-like abilities are always equal to 10 + 1/2 the Warlock’s level + his Charisma modifier.

Because Patrons are outsiders, they are strongly aligned and only allow Warlocks of similar disposition. At 1st level, a Warlock must select a Patron who’s alignment matches his own. A Warlock who later changes his alignment to one not allowed by his patron does not lose any of the abilities he has acquired, but may not advance further in Warlock levels. At the DM’s option, a Warlock who has changed his alignment may go on a quest to acquire a new Patron, in which case all bonuses granted by his former Patron (including skills, spells, and ability increases) are replaced by those of his new Patron.

Patron	Allowed Alignments	Patron’s Spell	Patron’s Skills	1st Ability Increase	2nd Ability Increase
Aeon	LN, NG, TN, NE, CN	Calm Emotions	Knowledge (religion), Sense Motive	Wisdom	Dexterity
Agathion	LG, NG, TN, CG	Summon Nature’s Ally II	Handle Animal, Survival	Constitution	Charisma
Angel	LG, NG, CG	Alter Self	Heal, Knowledge (planes)	Charisma	Strength
Archon	LG, LN, NG	Continual Flame	Intimidate, Sense Motive	Wisdom	Constitution
Asura	LN, LE, NE	Hideous Laughter	Appraise, Knowledge (local)	Wisdom	Dexterity
Azata	NG, CN, CG	Glitterdust	Diplomacy, Perform (any one)	Charisma	Dexterity
Daemons	LE, NE, TN, CE	Death Knell	Disable Device, Sleight of Hand	Dexterity	Intelligence
Demodand	NE, CN, CE	Bear’s Endurance	Intimidate, Knowledge (religion)	Constitution	Wisdom
Demon	NE, CN, CE	Shatter	Disable Device, Perception	Strength	Charisma
Devil	LN, LE, NE	Pyrotechnics	Diplomacy, Sense Motive	Wisdom	Constitution
Div	LE, TN, NE, CE	Misdirection	Diplomacy, Linguistics	Charisma	Dexterity
Ei’risai	CG, CN, CE	Blindness/Deafness	Acrobatics, Escape Artist	Strength	Constitution
Garuda	NG, CN, CG	See Invisibility	Acrobatics, Fly	Dexterity	Wisdom
Inevitable	LG, LN, LE	Hold Person	Diplomacy, Intimidate	Charisma	Constitution
Kami	LG, LN, NG, TN, CG, CN	Speak with Plants	Knowledge (nature), Perception	Dexterity	Wisdom
Kyton	LN, LE, NE	Web	Escape Artist, Intimidate	Constitution	Charisma
Oni	LN, LE, TN, NE, CN, CE	Alter Self	Disguise, Intimidate	Strength	Wisdom
Peri	LG, NG, TN, CG	Pyrotechnics	Knowledge (planes), Spellcraft	Intelligence	Charisma
Protean	CG, CN, CE	Shatter	Bluff, Knowledge (arcana)	Strength	Wisdom
Psychomomp	LN, NG, TN, NE, CN	Speak with Dead	Knowledge (religion), Spellcraft	Wisdom	Constitution
Qlippoth	NE, CN, CE	Blur	Escape Artist, Survival	Wisdom	Strength
Rakshasa	LN, LE, NE	Detect Thoughts	Disguise, Sense Motive	Charisma	Dexterity

Eldritch Blast (Sp): Starting at 1st level, the Warlock learns to unleash baleful magical energy to deal damage to his foes. An eldritch blast is a ranged touch attack that affects a single target, with a range of 100 feet, plus 10 feet per Warlock level. On a successful hit, the eldritch blast deals 1d6 points of force damage (no save). This increases to 2d6 at 3rd level, plus 1d6 for every three levels thereafter. Using eldritch blast is an attack action, and is usable at will. Any time the Warlock would be able to make a weapon attack, he may choose to use eldritch blast. A warlock able to make multiple attacks per round as part of a full-attack action may fire multiple eldritch blasts, up to the limit of his normal number of attacks.

Eldritch Blast counts as a spell of the Evocation school, with a level equal to the number of damage dice for all effects that are dependent on spell-level or the school of magic. An eldritch blast is subject to spell resistance, although Spell Penetration and other feats and abilities that improve caster level checks also apply to eldritch blast. An eldritch blast deals half damage to objects. Using eldritch blast provokes attacks of opportunity as normal for a ranged attack. Any ability that allows ranged attacks to be made without provocation applies to eldritch blasts as well.

Contact Patron (Sp): Starting at 2nd level, the Warlock gains the ability to directly contact with his Patron in its outer-planar home for insight and advice. This acts as an Augury spell, cast at the Warlock’s level. This is a spell-like ability and does not require any material components. The Warlock may use this ability a number of times per day equal to his Charisma modifier (minimum 1).

As the Warlock advances in level, he is able to better communicate with his patron, gaining more detailed and longer term information. At 8th level, this ability acts as a Divination spell. At 14th level, it acts as a Commune spell.

Patronic Transformation (Su): Starting at 2nd level, the Warlock’s patron begins teaching him eldritch secrets, at the cost of the Warlock’s humanity—granting him powers similar to creatures with an extraplanar bloodline while dramatically altering his form over time. The Warlock has no control over what secrets his Patron teaches him, nor what changes such knowledge may wreak upon his body.

At 2nd level and every 2 levels thereafter, the Warlock must roll 1d100 to determine what abilities he gains. Warlocks with a good-aligned Patron roll on the Variant Aasimar Abilities table. Those with an evil-aligned Patron roll on the Variant Tiefling Abilities table. Those whose Patron is neutral-aligned with respect to good and evil may choose to roll on either table, but must use the alternate table every other roll (i.e. if he rolls on the Tiefling table at 2nd level, he must roll on the Aasimar table at 4th, and so on).

The Warlock gains the ability indicated by his roll, as well as the physical feature from the respective “Alternative Physical Features” table determined by the same d100 result. Any ability granted that has a limited numbed of uses per day is usable a number of times per day equal to the Warlock’s Charisma modifier, instead of the indicated number of uses (minimum 1/day). If the same ability is rolled more than once, the benefits stack (+2 to a skill becomes +4, Damage Reduction 2/magic becomes DR 4/magic, Spell Resistance 10 + 1/2 your level becomes 10 + your level, Energy Resistance 5 becomes Resistance 10, etc.). A spell-like ability rolled more than once grants an additional number of daily uses equal to the amount indicated normally.

Eldritch Talents: In addition to the powers granted by their Patron, Warlocks are students of the arcane arts. Their unrelenting pursuit of knowledge and power leads them to learn magical talents very similar to that wielded by specialist wizards, but with none of their limitations on schools. At 3rd level, and again at every odd level thereafter, the Warlock learns one Eldritch Talent from the list below. Any ability that triggers off of casting a spell or affects spells you cast applies to your spell-like abilities (including eldritch blast if appropriate), as well as spells you cast from other classes you may have.

• Acid Dart (Sp)
• Acid Cloud (Su)
• Air Supremacy (Su)
• Assume Control (Su)
• Augment (Sp)
• Battleshaping (Su)
• Beguiling Touch (Sp)
• Binding Darkness (Sp)
• Blinding Ray (Sp)
• Bolster (Sp)
• Born Liar (Ex)
• Cold Blast (Su)
• Create Gear (Su)
• Dazing Touch (Sp)
• Diligent Student (Ex)
• Disruption
• Diviner’s Fortune (Sp)
• Earth Supremacy (Su)
• Enchanting Smile (Su)
• Extended Illusions (Su)
• Face in the Crowd (Sp)
• Fire Supremacy (Su)
• Fire Jet (Su)
• Flexible Enhancement (Su)
• Force Missile (Sp)
• Force of Will (Su)
• Forewarned (Su)
• Grave Touch (Sp)
• Gullible (Su)
• Hand of the Apprentice (Su)
• Healing Grace (Su)
• Hindering Winds (Sp)
• Intense Spells (Su)
• Iron Skin (Su)
• Lightning Flash (Su)
• Lingering Evocations (Su)
• Metacharge (Ex)
• Metal Rending (Su)
• Physical Enhancement (Su)
• Power Over Undead (Su)
• Practical Magic (Su)
• Prescience (Su)
• Protective Ward (Su)
• Reshape Space (Su)
• Resistance (Ex)
• Reveal Weakness (Su)
• Send Senses (Sp)
• Share Essence (Sp)
• Shift (Su)
• Summoner’s Charm (Su)
• Spell Gust (Su)
• Splintered Spear (Su)
• Telekinetic Fist (Sp)
• Terror (Su)
• Unstable Bonds (Su)
• Versatile Evocation (this can be used on the Warlock’s eldritch blast even though it does not normally do energy damage) (Su)
• Void Awareness (Su)
• Water Supremacy (Su)
• Wind Servant (Sp)

Eldritch Essence (Sp): Beginning at 4th level, as a standard action, the Warlock may unleash his eldritch blast and add the effect of any single spell-like abilities he has access to to the blast. On a successful hit, the target of the eldritch blast also becomes the target of the spell-like ability used, and must make any appropriate saving throws against the spell-like ability included. If the spell-like ability used deals damage of a specific energy type (such as the Acid Dart conjuration school power). all damage dealt by the eldritch blast is changed to match that type. Regardless of whether or not the eldritch blast hits, a use of that spell-like ability is expended.

Even abilities that normally have a range of “touch” or “self” can be delivered in this fashion (thus the Warlock would be able to cast Alter Self on an enemy targeted by eldritch essence). If the spell has an area of effect, the effect is centered on the target of the eldritch blast. Eldritch Talents that are supernatural abilities cannot be combined with an eldritch essence. A Warlock able to make multiple attacks with his eldritch blast may still only make a single attack when using an eldritch essence.
Special: If the Force Missile eldritch talent is used with eldritch essence, the eldritch blast also hits automatically with no attack roll required.

Advanced Eldritch Talents: Starting at 11th level, any time the Warlock would learn an eldritch talent, he may choose one of the following advanced talents instead.

• Aura of Banishment (Su)
• Aura of Despair (Su)
• Aura of Prescience (Su)
• Bedeviling Aura (Su)
• Change Shape (Sp)
• Cooperative Defense (Su)
• Creator’s Will (Sp)
• Cyclone (Su)
• Dancing Flame (Su)
• Dimensional Steps (Sp)
• Earth Glide (Su)
• Elemental Manipulation (Su)
• Elemental Wall (Sp)
• Energy Absorption (Su)
• False Images (Sp)
• Fly Field (Sp)
• Foretell (Su)
• Invisibility Field (Sp)
• Irresistable Demand (Sp)
• Life Sight (Su)
• Master of the Veil (Sp)
• Metamagic Mastery (Su)
• Perfection of Self (Su)
• Scrying Adept (Su)
• Shadow Step (Sp)
• Shape Emotions (Su)
• Shrapnel Burst (Su)
• Wave (Su)

The Alice -- Pathfinder Conversion

There are painfully few LotFP + Pathfinder hacks to be found on the internet, so I figured I would share one of mine, because taking classes built for a relatively rules-light retro-clone and hacking them to work with one of the most rules-heavy modern D&D clones is fun, right?


An archetype for the Rogue class based on the Alice class from the Lamentations of the Flame Princess A Red and Pleasant Land campaign setting. The core text of this is all courtesy of Zak S., the Pathfinder-specific mechanical changes are mine.

Artwork by Zak S.

Alices (when male: “Alistairs” or, of any gender: “Fools”) are unlike other adventurers in that they are actively sought by adventure. Alices forever find themselves falling into cursed rabbit holes, accidentally killing witches, having their half-brothers stolen by goblin kings, being willed magic rings, finding demons inserted in their chests, or having armored knights ride through their homes at bedtime. Obscure gods, however, sympathize with them (they are often born to powerful families), and an Alice is a boon to any adventuring party. Some Alices wear striped stockings, some Alistairs wear pointed shoes. Although they begin their adventures untrained and naive, Alices are fast learners, and high level Alices are known for their sagacity and cunning.

Alices act as rogues for all purposes except where described below:

Class Skills:
The Alice’s class skills are: Acrobatics (Dex), Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha), Diplomacy (Cha), Disable Device (Dex), Disguise (Cha), Fly (Dex), Handle Animal (Cha), Heal (Wis), Knowledge [All] (Int), Linguistics (Int), Perception (Wis), Perform (Cha), Ride (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Stealth (Dex), and Use Magic Device (Cha). These replace the class skills normally gained by the Rogue class.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies:
The Alice is proficient with all Simple Weapons and all Light Martial Weapons. She is proficient with Light Armor, but not with shields. These replace the standard weapon and armor proficiencies gained by the Rogue class.

Exasperation (Su):
Starting at 1st level, in times of unusual stress Alices may become Exasperated. This Exasperation causes fate to take notice of the Alice, and then to aid her. The Alice says or thinks something like “Oh I can’t conceive how I ever fell into this deplorable circumstance!” or “We are indeed doomed and now birds will gnaw our eyes.” This ability replaces all instances of the rogue’s Sneak Attack ability.

An Alice may express Exasperation once per day at 1st level, and one additional time per day at 3rd level and every 3 levels thereafter (to a maximum of 7/day at 18th level). When the Alice becomes exasperated, the DM rolls 1d4 on the Exasperations Table below. This increases to 1d6 at 5th level, a d8 at 9th level, a d10 at 13th level, and a d12 at 17th level. Becoming Exasperated is a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

Exasperations are supernatural effects. These can’t be disrupted in combat and generally don’t provoke attacks of opportunity. They aren’t subject to spell resistance, counterspells, or dispel magic, and don’t function in antimagic areas. Any saving throws required by an Exasperation are made against a DC equal to 10 + 1/2 the Alice’s level + the Alice’s Charisma modifier.

Roll	Exasperations
1	A door is revealed where none had previously been detected. This may appear in a wall, the side of a tree, on a rock, the backside of a very large monster, or anywhere else that it might be appropriate for a door to appear. This functions as a Dimension Door spell, leading to any location the DM feels appropriate so long as the destination is either: (a) relatively safe, or (b) plot-advancing.
2	The Alice realizes she has something in her pack, her hair, or otherwise secreted about her person. The object can be any non-magical and generic item (a key, not the key) that exists in the setting and that is small enough that the Alice could reasonably have it hidden it in her current condition. The Alice may choose what this is.
3	An ordinary animal of size small or smaller appears. This does not grant the Alice any ability to directly control or communicate with it, but the animal will not under any circumstances hurt the Alice.
4	A fact about the situation at hand occurs to the Alice—something she learned once in a lesson or in a kitchen or on a Sunday—a piece of local or monster lore germane to the situation.
5	One creature within the Alice’s line of sight immediately falls prone (no save). If the target creature is adjacent to a cliff, pit, body of water, or other hazard, they must succeed at a Reflex save or fall into said hazard.
6	The weather in the immediate area changes in a way decided by the Alice, as per the Control Weather spell.
7	One nearby creature is charmed by the Alice, as per the Charm Monster spell, for 1 hour per Alice level. A successful Will save negates the effect.
8	One device or object within the Alice’s line of sight immediately breaks, gaining the broken condition. Magical objects are allowed a Fortitude save to negate this effect.
9	Something not ordinarily able to talk (GM’s choice) begins to speak to the Alice. This functions similar to a Speak with Animals, Speak with Plants, or Stone Tell spell, lasting 1 minute per Alice level. The thing will be generally sympathetic and friendly towards the Alice, answering questions to the best of its ability and offering what advice it may.
10	All creatures present completely forget that the Alice is there for 1 round. They will cease all attacks against the Alice and treat the Alice as if she were invisible to them. After this time, the Alice functions as if under the effects of a Sanctuary spell for 1 round per Alice level.
11	Someone shows up to fetch the Alice out of her current predicament. If there is an obvious candidate from among the local NPCs (giant eagles, a friendly knight, etc.), that’s who it is, otherwise the GM should make up an appropriate executor. The NPC appears as close as plausible, arriving by whatever means of locomotion is available to them, and will act by whatever means are at their disposal to remove the Alice from her current situation (forcefully if necessary).
12	One creature that the Alice can see begins to shrink. Each round, the target decreases in size by 1 size category (as per the Reduce Person spell). The target continues to decrease in size at the start of the Alice’s turn, at the rate of 1 size category per round, until it has been reduced to Fine size (roughly the size of a playing card). Each round, the target is allowed a Will save to halt the size reduction. Once the shrinking halts, the creature will remain at its new size for 10 minutes per level of the Alice.

Alice Talents:
Starting at 2nd level, whenever the Alice would gain a new Rogue Talent, she must choose one of the following talents instead. This replaces the normal list of available Rogue Talents and Advanced Rogue Talents, but otherwise acts as that ability. If the Alice has a second archetype that adds additional options to the list of Rogue Talents, or requires a specific Rogue Talent to be taken, those talents are added to this list.

• Alice was then reminded of something she’d noticed before…: The Alice gains a +1 Insight bonus on all saving throws.
• Falling down wells really improves the hand-eye coordination.: The Alice gains double her normal Dexterity bonus on Dexterity-based skill checks.
• She noticed the Red Knight always feinted to his left— she was a very perceptive girl.: The Alice can choose to observe a target as a standard action. For each round spent observing a single target, the Alice gains a +1d4 bonus on her next single attack roll or combat maneuver check made against the target (to a maximum of 1d4 per 2 Alice levels). If the Alice does not make an attack against the target, this bonus ends after 1 minute.
• Alice liked pies, although sometimes people did not want her to have them.: The Alice gains a circumstance bonus equal to her Alice level on all skill checks made to locate or acquire foodstuffs of any kind (including Perception checks to locate food, Survival checks to forage, or even Sleight of Hand checks to steal food from a vendor’s cart). Note that potions and other consumables may count as “food” at the GM’s discretion.
• She closed her eyes and said the words just as she’d been taught…: The Alice learns a single Sorcerer/Wizard spell of 1st level. This spell is usable once per day, and is cast at the Alice’s level. Any save DCs are Charisma-based. The Alice may take this Talent up to 8 times, each time learning a single spell of the next higher spell-level (to a maximum of 8th level).
• Oh, I do so apologize…: The Alice gains the Improved Trip feat as a bonus feat. She does not need to meet the prerequisites for this feat.
• Her sister had mentioned they were dreadful people…: The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Knowledge (nobility) skill checks. In addition, the Alice can choose to be the cousin or niece or otherwise secondhand related to any single NPC encountered thereafter (this may not be an NPC that has been encountered previously). This Talent can be selected up to three times. This bonuses stack (to a maximum of +6) and each time the Alice can choose a new NPC to be distantly related to.
• All that hiding in the dumbwaiter has finally paid off.: The Alice is exceptionally talented at learning secrets. Once per day, the Alice may attempt an Intelligence check (DC 10). If the check succeeds, the Alice can either identify a single magic item (as if she had succeeded at a spellcraft check) or learn a single embarrassing fact about an NPC (to be used however she decides). Player’s choice.
• It seemed nearly everything was dangerous if handled improperly.: The Alice has become very skilled with improvised weapons. She gains Catch Off Guard as a bonus feat, and all improvised weapons she wields deal damage as if they were one size category larger.
• It was very shiny and stuck out like a soup spoon…: The Alice gains Improved Steal as a bonus feat. She does not need to meet the prerequisites for this feat.
• She was not such a mouse as she used to be.: The Alice gains a +1 increase to her Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution score. This operates just like the ability score increases gained every four levels. This talent may be taken up to three times, each time improving a different ability score.
• Alice then did something quite astonishing…: The Alice is surprising. She adds her Charisma modifier to attack and damage rolls with all improvised weapons, and on all attacks made during a surprise round.
• The blue one certainly did make the Alice taller, of that Alice was certain…: Craft (alchemy) becomes a class skill for the Alice. The Alice can use Craft (alchemy) to identify potions as if using detect magic, and gains a circumstance bonus equal to 1/2 her Alice level on such checks. She must hold the potion for 1 round to make such a check.
• She could be very charming when she needed to be.: The Alice’s silver tongue gives her a +2 bonus on all Bluff and Diplomacy skill checks. This talent can be taken up to three times. The bonuses stack to a maximum of +6.
• “It really was curious,” she thought— “How many times could this kind of thing happen?”: The Alice may escape a gruesome fate. Once per day, when the Alice would be reduced to 0 hit points or less by an attack, she can choose to be reduced to 1 hit point instead. The Alice immediately falls prone and is staggered for one round. The attacker must make a Sense Motive check (opposed by the Alice’s Bluff check) or assume that the Alice has been slain. This talent may selected more than once, each time granting an additional daily use of this ability.
• She knew to curtsey at times like this, and so she did.: Despite the low company the Alice keeps, she’s been working on her manners. Members of the upper classes instinctively recognize the Alice as one of their own (even if she isn’t), and treat her as such. The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Charisma-based skill checks when dealing with the nobility. In addition, this may grant her access to exclusive events or venues, increased access to centers of political power, etc.
• It was so lovely, and—according to the book—it was right there.: The dress made of manticore-flesh, the house full of lilacs, the magical fish-gutting knife—whatever the thing that the Alice always wanted is, it’s there. Tell the GM what you want. He will immediately place it somewhere 4 adventuring sessions away or less. The Alice must have a fair shot at it (i.e. it will not be guarded by a monster of a CR twice your level or more), but there’s no guarantee the Alice will get it. This Talent may only be taken once and works only once. Think big.
• She had not known her mother’s cousin very well, and decided that it was a bad thing that she had died…: The Alice has been willed 5,000 shillings worth of random mundane (nonmagical) objects. The player must immediately spend this cash on whatever items he desires, then inform the GM of what she bought. The items in question will be waiting for the PC at the next town she visits. This Talent may be taken more than once, but each such windfall is a one-time thing. With the GM’s permission, the windfall may take the form of deeds and titles to lands, ships, or buildings in the place of equipment.
• They kept talking as though Alice was a rhododendron in a pot.: The Alice gains Advantage (roll twice and take the better result) on all Stealth skill checks.
• She knew from school what the word meant, but did not know if it was rude or not.: The Alice gains a +2 bonus on all Linguistics skill checks, and learns 1 new language of her choice. This talent may be taken up to three times. The bonus to Linguistics stacks, to a maximum of +6.
• Alice quite liked drawing, and had an impressive box of crayons at home.: The Alice gains Advantage (roll twice and take the better result) on all Linguistics skill checks made to create (but not detect) forgeries. In addition, Craft (painting) becomes a class skill for the Alice, and she gains Advantage on all Craft (painting) skill checks made to create artistic forgeries.
• She thought it might be a saltcellar, or at least that seemed like a good word.: The Alice gains a circumstance bonus on Appraise skill checks equal to 1/2 her Alice level. On a successful Appraise check, not only does she learn the objects apparent value, but she is also immediately aware if the item is somehow not what it seems (such as a forgery, disguised, hollow, booby-trapped, etc.), though this will not reveal specifics about what may be different about the item.
• She did seem to offend people (and animals) wherever she went.: The Alice has become adept at dueling. She gains weapon proficiency with the Rapier, Sword Cane, and Dueling Sword and gains Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat.
• They all listened attentively as Alice told her tale.: The Alice gains a +1 increase to her Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma score. This operates just like the ability score increases gained every four levels. This talent may be taken up to three times, each time improving a different ability score.
• They began to throw stones, and Alice began to avoid them.: The Alice gains a +2 dodge bonus to AC against ranged attacks (including ranged touch attacks), and a +2 dodge bonus on Reflex saving throws.
• She began to feel somewhat neglected.: If the Alice takes the total defense action in a round and an opponent misses her with an attack roll, the Alice may make an immediate Disarm, Dirty Trick, Trip, or Steal combat maneuver against that opponent as an immediate action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.
• She tried to remember what she knew about stoats.: The Alice gains a bonus on Handle Animal skill checks equal to 1/2 her Alice level. She gains a similar bonus on Diplomacy skill checks made against animals and magical beasts of Intelligence 3 or greater with whom she shares a language.
• Alice had seen so many unusual things lately, it had become usual.: Nothing phases the Alice any more. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. She gains immunity to confusion and insanity effects.

Alice’s Edge:
At 7th level, the Alice masters a single skill beyond that skill’s normal boundaries. She gains the skill unlock powers for one skill of her choice as appropriate for her number of ranks in that skill. At 11th level, 15th, and 19th levels, she chooses an additional skill and gains skill unlock powers for that skill as well.