Monday, October 5, 2015

The Exodus: Session 15

I promise that one of these days, I'll get around to converting these adventure logs to prose...

At the gathering for Genghis to pick his successor
    Subotai stands up to recite "The Slaying of Bektor"...
        the story of the assassination of the Great Khan's older brother...
        Cemented the Khan's commitment to never again have family infighting
            Ithunn suggests that this is a thinly-veiled threat...
                AND he BOMBS it...
    The great khan, angered, declares that its time to go out to the Arena...
        On the way out Squee and Khut throw together a Sulde...
            made from Squee's hair...PINK, maggotfolk hair...
            Vadim and Breaks lay some undetectable buffs on Barruk
        We walk out to see tents as far as the eyes can see,
                huge herds of Holy Mountain Beasts...
        The Arena is a tall earthen mound, square-sloped, rounded with stakes
            The four brother's champions stand ready...
                Jhamoushka -- A gargantuan, enormously fat steppefolk
                    with an enormous, bloody spiked club
                        ...he slams his club into the ground and roars...
            Baijou -- A Malik champion in a meditative pose...
            AND...for Subotai...Chinua?!
                Chinua makes the happy pant of a dog greeting his pack-mate...
        They declaim the rules:
            No outside interference, battle to the death, last man standing wins
            We confer...Khut moons Subotai to keep his helpers from reading us...
            The four champions charge!
                Barruk OWNS the battle-field...
                    He commands Chinua to attack Jhamouka's ogre...
                        and Chin does exactly as told...
                    He commands the Malik to "Stand down"...
                        and the target is left shaking in his boots...
                    Then he joins Chinua in charging the ogre...
                        Barruk brands him, and Chinua mauls him...
                            the Ogre is left lying on the ground,
                                grasping at clods of earth trying to stand...
            Khut and Ithunn sneak around into position to beat any cheaters....
                One of Baijou's guys tries to snap the Malik out of it...
                    And gets silently cold-clocked by Ithunn...
                Subotai has the other nohai bagged and tagged...
                    Khut trips the guy who was standing ready to give the kill order...
                One of Subotai's dudes tries to cast an augury...
                    and gets publicly foomed by Breaks Like Wind
                        Who then joins the judges in the judge's stand...
            The fight rages on...
                One of Baijou's dudes tries to toss a potion into the ring...
                    and Ithunn snags it out of the air...
                        And the two of them get into an all-out drunken brawl...
                Squee and Ado start the crowd chanting "Thunder" to cheer Barruk...
                    Then ado sends Subotai's caller into roars of laughter...
                        AND Sorq quietly Hold Persons two of the guards on the nohai...
                            Khut punches the third, sending him flying...
                        Vadim frees the Nohai & puts bags over the guards heads...
                            LOOK three things with bags over their heads,
                               with a couple steppefolk sitting watch...
                                    nothing strange here...
                Subotai's cheater gets up, tries to grab a scroll...
                    And finds that Khut had already snagged it...
                        and replaced it with a packet of Deathroot...
                Another of Subotai's bards tries to cast a spell on the Malik...
                    AND gets called out by Breaks throwing a fireball above his head...
                Jhanoushka's dumb cheater just randomly throws things in the ring...
                    SO Khadagan wanders over and throws him...
                            Drunkenly: "I like to throw things too!"
                        and throws him again...
                            Drunkenly: "Are we still throwing things?!"
                    Vadim takes the Nohai and circles around to provide backup...
            Barruk swings at Chinua with orders to "play dead"...
                Barruk blows a blood bag...gore goes everywhere...
                    AND Sorq hits Chinua with a Feign Death...
                The ogre stands and swings at Barruk...but Ado shits in his eye...
                    Barruk flattens the Ogre...
                        then Misty-Steps into the Malik's face
                            lays a flaming hammer upside his head...
                        and Ado viciously mocks the Malik...
                            Who swings and misses...
                    Barruk keeps beating...the Malik retaliates...
                        and bursts into Flame...
                Subotai starts cheering on the Malik...
                    Ithunn stumbles in and spills a tray of drinks on him...
                        AND Vadim unscrews the wheels from Subotai's wheel-chair...
                    AND Breaks drops Grease on the judge's stand...
                        AND the legit judges go stumbling...
            AND Barruk knocks the Malik's head clean off...
                Which lands in Subotai's lap...sending him tumbling down the hill...
                     
    Then there is a mounted archery contest...Khut grabs the fastest hornbeast...
        but shoots unusually poorly...
            but scrapes a win anyways...
                thanks to Ado lacing the coarse with ballbearings behind him...
    Ghengis calls a rest and says that the next morning will be a mass-combat
        between Baijou and Jalin's troops...
            but, of course, Jalin doesn't have an army...
        We spend the night recruiting troops...
            Nohai archers...Malik cavalry...
                AND Myconids from the caves below Xanadu...
                    Some of which are HUGE!
 
    The next morning...the ground is muddy...
        Baijou's troops poison our meat...
        Then our cataphracts crush their archers...
        Baijou sends out a Mongolian Deathworm...
            the king of all deathworms...Dune style...
                And the party crashes into it...
         
    Khadagan rages and leaps into the worm's craw...
    Ado rocks the hypnotic pattern...
        but only manages to stun Barruk and Breaks...
    Vadim grabs a loose beast and tramples Barruk and Breaks awake...
        AND Breaks drops a fireball on it...
    It paralyzes squee...and swallows Sorqutani...
        BUT Sorq summons a unicorn...inside it...
            AND Khadagan poisons it with some Cacklebane...
                And he, Sorq, and the unicorn ride a wave of barf out of its mouth...
    Vadim lays down some spikes...
        AND Khut spikes it with arrow...sending it rolling into the spikes...
    Barruk drops some darkness on its head...
        AND Squee makes it giggle histariously...
            AND Sorq throws a fireball strait down its gullet...
                followed by a swarm of fire spirits...
                    AND we're all covered in deathworm guts...