Monday, September 21, 2015

The Exodus: Session 13

How to win friends and influence battles...

We strike out after the other missing cows...
    Find a pack of 150 Hellhorns...with our beasts...and they're girls...
        Flying the standard of Horgrim Whitemane (old, worn-out general)
        The men are all either old or children...
            The old general is no idiot...they are digging in...
    Circling birds show that there is a second group...
        Khut speeds off to check...
            200-man Empty Circle scouts...shooting down the birds...
       
Squee and Ithunn casually saunter down towards the Hellhorn camp...
    They are acosted by a big, competent looking Hellhorn lady (Batbyar)...
        They are told the camp is on the eve of battle...
        They wander in and chat with Horgrim Whitemane...
            Who is Squee's best friend...
                Apparently they are ready to "sing their deaths"
                They are so ready to die that...Squee REALLY is their best friend...

Khut kisses the mammoth with a Looooooooooong shot...
        trying to snipe the EC leader...
    Which gets shot out of the air by a massive volley...
        And KHUT RUNS....

Leading the Centaur army into a valley...
    Where the Krokodile decimate their archers with cursed arrows...
        The Cavalry crash...
   
AND the party charges the leader...
        (a massive, blackskinned centaur with a huge axe)...
            and his half-dozen able-bodied centaur guards...
    Khut takes the general's shield with an arrow...
    Sorq wrecks their lives with a Fireball...
        And Squee, Ithunn, and Ado pile on to save her from an incoming volley...
    Khut drops one with another shot...
            heavily aided by the bardic dynamic duo...
        And more Fireballs start flying...
        AND Ithunn moving like Hasted lightning...appears out of nowhere...
            and spinkicks the general in the face...Five. Times.
                And knocks him to the ground...and beats him like a bad dobby...
            AND he stands up and retaliates with a huge axe...
        Khadagan leaps in and slashes at him...narrowly avoiding a back-kick...
        Ithunn kicks him down again and the beatings commence...
            And chops his head off...
    More arrows rain down...finally dropping Sorq...
        Khut nails three more...
            AND one is turned crispy by a Fireball...
            AND Vadim smears one with a Rhino...
               
Meanwhile the Krokodile keep shooting and the cavalry continue to wheel...
    Their cavalry get in among the Krokodile...
        who are saved by the Hellhorn infantry sacrifice...
    AND the cavalry get torn apart by the Krokodile archers...
        AND the Empty Circle scouts jump General Whitemane...
            but Whitemane and Batbyar survive...

Khut collects A LOT of horsemeat...
    AND Ithunn has a group of fanatical amazon fan-girls...
        She gets a lot of "Sign my horn!"
    AND Horgrim is deliriously happy for the victory...
        He tells us they bought OUR beasts from the Bent Blades...
            Over the Hill...
                We go pay them a visit...
   
We roll in to the Bent Blade camp...
    To find that Squee already has them wrapped around her VERY little finger...
        Vadim talks up Nergui's, the Bent Blade, cow-snatching skills...
        We caught them cold and dead to rights...
            AND with some smooth talking from Ado...
                230 Bent Blade scouts (Horse thief) join our little band...
                AND we get all 24 beasts back...
                PLUS the 36 they brought with them...
    We sent couriers back to the Gray Lady...
        telling her that we found some skystones...
            and food, and she should come join us...
       
We book it North and catch up with the caravan...
    During a Lightning Storm...
        There is a stampede...while rounding them up we find...
            5 fine Hornbeasts show up...with Malik brands...
                Apparently belonged to the Cataphracts of the Malik empire...
           
We start trying to integrate our new, mismatched Tribe...
        Sorq goes to talk with Hundreds...who is up to her ears in refugees...
            Ado and Squee jump in with some work songs...
            Ithunn takes her Amazons and begins training them...
                in a very erotic and entertaining combat-dance...
        Khadagan loads up a pair of wagons with a mobile herb-garden...
            He plants Cackleaway, Sourgrass, and a couple Firestarter Bushes...
        Vadim chats with Hulagu...
            Learns the Chinua ran off to the Boneyards with a pacel of outriders...
            Hulagu asks for help collecting salt from the salt flats...
                Breaks Like Wind rounds up some tradestoners and heads out...

Vadim and Khut round everyone up and ride off after Chinua...
    We follow them to the khurgan burial mounds of the "Bone Yards"...
        We follow the tracks towards the oldest dolmens...
            Sorq deciphers the moss-covered ancient ruins...
                The final resting place of Khan Gen'Shihir...
                    and also his mount, and his wind beast...
            There is a giant stone blocking the passage...the block is brand new...
                and the tracks go STRAIT IN...
                We tie a rhino too it...then Sorq explodes it as we goose the Rhino...
                    AND we're in...
                        AND another big rock closes us in...

We enter a big antechamber with bass-relief depictions of steppefolk at war...
    The story of the betrayal of Gen'Shahir Khan to the Shahanshar of the Malik...
        Sorq creates some flaming cat lights...
        Khut finds tracks going left...into a workers chamber...
            Big boulders fallen in from the roof...remnants of a recent camp...
                4 days of rations are there (they took a week)...
                Strange pinging and clicking noises...
        A rock moves...It surprises people...
            except Khut who hits it, and hits it again, and hits it again...
                It swings back and whiffs...
            Khadagan crams firestarter bush chips in the crack left by Khut's axe...
                AND Sorq blows it up with fire...
                AND Squee blows it up with Shatter...
                AND Ithunn leaps in, kicks it down, and starts beating...
                    But it stands up and punches her into a wall...and vanishes...
                   
Khadagan points out that the rock-monster is a spirit...
    We all light up a bowl of Yokeleaf and start tripping...
        We appear to be in a smooth hall of solid-gold (on-reflective) walls...
            Sounds of tinkling fountains...
        A tall, square-chinned steppefolk in fancy armor greets us...
            We chat it up with Ja'Lin (he's gellin like a felon)...
            He leads us into a gorgeous pleasure dome with a crystal ceiling...
                With an unbelievable greenhouse/garden of unrecognizable plants...
        Sorq busts out a gilded, landshark-bone flute...
            tries to propitiate the spirits with song...
        Ja'Lin offers us baths and summons two malik servants to assist us...
            Khut looks at everyone like they are insane when they start bathing...
               
NEXT TIME:  Ado pees in the pool in Xanadu