Neural Networked Spells: Part 2

As promised, here are three more Pathfinder RPG compatible spells based on dumb spell names generated by AI. You can see the last set here.

While the first set was fairly strait-forward, the rest of the list presents some significant difficulties in the form of nonsensical words not used as possessives or bizarre syntax issues. Defining the following spells actually required me to make up a definition for a word that doesn't actually exist -- "Puijune". I decided the "Puijune" is a portmanteau of "Puissant" (powerful) and "Jejune" (simplistic or superficial). In the context of the spell name it is clearly used as an adjective. Thus...

Puijune (adj). possessed of a superficial level of power.

This is my new favorite word for describing Cantrips. I may have to use it for all new 0th-level spells I make.

Cursing

School: Enchantment (compulsion) [Mind-Affecting, Curse]
Level: Antipaladin 1st, Bard 1st, Bloodrager 1st, Mesmerist 1st, Occultist 1st, Witch 2nd
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Components: S
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 creature
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

With a rude gesture, you curse a target creature so that they can only speak in profanity. A target that fails a Will save can only speak in words that would be considered crude or offensive in whatever language he is speaking. The target automatically fails any Diplomacy checks, and suffers a -2 penalty on all Bluff and verbal Performance checks due to his limited vocabulary. Likewise, the target cannot cast any spells with Verbal components, save spells with the Chaotic, Curse, Evil, or Pain descriptors. The target is allowed a new save at the end of each of its turns to end the effect.

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Conjure Velemert

School: Conjuration (creation) [Air/Earth/Fire/Water]
Level: Alchemist 2nd, Druid 3rd, Medium 2nd, Occultist 2nd, Sorcerer/Wizard 3rd, Witch 3rd
Casting Time: 1 full round
Components: V, S, M (a volume of elemental matter equal to the caster’s size)
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: 1 Velemert
Duration: Special
Saving Throw: none
Spell Resistance: none

The conjurer Fomend described the Velemert as “An extension of the caster’s psyche, bound in elemental matter, and unleashed upon the world at large. Beware the Velemert!”

When casting this spell, the caster must select a volume of elemental matter (air, earth, fire, or water) within range that would be large enough to contain his body. Upon completion of the spell, the caster’s spirit evacuates his body and emerges from the targeted matter as an almost perfect simulacrum of the caster composed of the appropriate element. The caster’s body immediately drops to 0 hit points and is unconscious, but stable. The body cannot be healed by any means so long as the Velemert exists.

The Velemert looks identical to the caster, save that it is composed entirely of the targeted matter, and includes replicas of all of the caster’s equipment. The Velemert’s ability scores are based on the caster’s but invert the caster’s natural proclivities. It’s Strength is equal to the caster’s Intelligence, Intelligence equal to his Strength, Dexterity equal to his Wisdom, Wisdom equal to his Dexterity, Constitution equal to his Charisma, and Charisma equal to the caster’s Constitution. The Velemerts uses the caster’s armor class, base attack bonus, saves, and skills, modified by the new ability scores. It has access to all attacks, feats, and extraordinary or supernatural abilities that the caster possesses, but cannot cast spells or use spell-like abilities.

For all effects related to type the Velemert is treated as an Outsider with the Elemental subtype. The Velemert has all the normal features and immunities of the Elemental subtype, plus Spell Resistance equal to 10 plus the caster’s level. In addition, it gains an additional subtype and abilities depending on its composite material:

• Air: The Velemert gains the Air subtype, Immunity to Electricity, Vulnerability to Acid, and a Fly speed equal to double the caster’s base land speed (with Perfect maneuverability).
• Earth: The Velemert gains the Earth subtype, Immunity to Acid, Vulnerability to Electricity, Tremorsense out to a range of 60 feet, and a Burrow speed equal to the caster’s base land speed.
• Fire: The Velemert gains the Fire subtype, Immunity to Fire, Vulnerability to Cold, and any creature damaged by the Velemert (by any means) immediately catches on fire.
• Water: The Velemert gains the Water subtype, Immunity to Cold, Vulnerability to Fire, and a Swim speed equal to double the caster’s base land speed.

At the time of it’s creation, the Velemert’s hit points are equal to the caster’s maximum hit points. The Velemert takes damage as normal, and also automatically loses 1d4 hit points per minute, as the magic that created it is inherently unstable. The Velemert cannot be healed by any means. When the Velemert is reduced to 0 hit points, it is immediately destroyed and the caster’s spirit returns to his original body, ending the spell and healing the caster of 1 hit point. If the original body is killed while the caster’s spirit is occupying the Velemert, the caster remains alive as long as the Velemert is intact, after which he dies and can be raised or resurrected normally.

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Puijune Magic Furs

School: Transmutation
Level: Cleric/Oracle 0th, Druid 0th, Ranger 1st, Shaman 0th, Sorcerer/Wizard 0th
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Components: V, S
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: 1 garment
Duration: 10 minutes / level
Saving Throw: none
Spell Resistance: none (harmless)

Puijune (adj). possessed of a superficial level of power.

Although created as a parlour trick by an apprentice transmuter, this spell has shown itself to be surprisingly useful to adventuring wizards, particularly those traveling in cold climes. This spell transforms any one nonmagical garment into a similar garment of clothing made from thick, luxurious, if somewhat smelly furs (typically that of a seal, bear, or musk-ox). Though typically used on bulkier garments, this could be cast on anything from a loincloth, to a hat, to a full-bodied robe.

If cast on an article of clothing that covers a significant part of the body (such as a tunic, coat, cloak, or the like) the furs grant the wearer a +3 circumstance bonus on Fortitude saves to resist cold weather. This does not stack with any bonuses gained from the Survival skill.

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